Undone in this Mad Season
by IlovetowriteSMP
Summary: Logan leaves town after Lulu attacks him, but its Maxie he can't stay away from forever. Lomax. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

Undone in this Mad Season

_The title for this comes from a Goo Goo Dolls song that I feel fits Logan and Maxie._

**Chapter One**

Its only in the middle of the night when she visits him. Somehow, to Maxie's way of thinking, that seems fitting. She's dark- her mind, her heart, her memories. And he is nothing but dark- rage is the fuel that drives this man.

And what they have been to each other is dark. A place to get lost, a person to abuse...yell, use, shake and try to make feel something...she wouldn't call any of it pretty. Thinking of killing him had not been pretty. Trying to use him to ruin herself wasn't pretty. But it was all real.

Bloody and painful and intense. But real.

That a machine is breathing for him now is real too. That he could die today or tomorrow hangs in the air of this hospital room. Another guy of hers...dead.

She smiles then, looking at him, and it is the first time she has been able to smile around him in a while. What would he think about being lumped in with her other heartbreaks?

_Don't freaking put me on that list. You trying to kill me or what_? he would probably ask in his bitter southern drawl.

Had she been trying to kill him all along? Or just herself? Or just the pain?

Some days she would find herself on his doorstep, with a good excuse firm on her lips, but why she really went there last summer was to see his eyes...see that reflection of what she knew was in her own staring back at her. To see if it meant a thing that they were alike or if it meant nothing at all.

Maxie reaches out and lets one finger brush over the top of his hand. She is sure if Lulu was holding this hand, he would wake up. He'd probably jump out of bed completely healed and grateful she cared enough to stop by._ Sucker._ But all men seemed to be that around her.

One sweet feigning naive smile, is that all it took to be adored?

Maxie pulls her hand back. She has already laid out her terms for him. She told him, the first night she found herself here instead of in bed at midnight, _I'm not gonna apologize or ask you not to hate me. But wake up anyway. Wake up and yell at me. You know you want to._

Standing up, her heels click on the ground. She leans close to him. The machines play out their usual song of beep, beep, beep, assuring that for this minute he is alive. "Wake up. You're really starting to piss me off."

Maxie sneaks out of the room, careful to make sure no nurses or doctors, who would tell her she shouldn't be there at that hour, spot her. To the rest of the world, she was never there at all

But she was.

There is no real reason, that anyone who knows them might understand, why she should care if he lives or dies now.

But she does. It must be the fact that no one has eyes like his.

XXXXXXXXXXX

**Three days later**

He comes in and out of consciousness, hearing voices and seeing blurry faces, for what seems like days but later they will tell him it was only a few hours. During that time the tube is pulled from his throat. Scott's gruff voice is there and her soft, sad one. Lulu, always with the apologies and explanations. Snatches of conversations register. _Son...could have died...lucky. Logan...God...sorry...understand...okay._

The first thing he remembers is the wrench in her hand. Whatever happened to him hadn't given him amnesia, he figures, which was really what would have been best. Forget it all. Start blank. Forget the total screw up he was, forget that Cooper was dead, forget the people he destroyed, forget himself.

Now that would have been the best gift Lulu could have ever given him. She could keep her so-called love if only she knew some way to bring on total memory loss.

He closes his eyes again. The voices faded away_. Good. Go away. I don't need either of you. You don't know me and I don't know you. Just leave me alone...why didn't I die_?

The next thing he hears is the sound of something crashing onto the tile floor, and a soft, hissed out, "Damn," in a voice he would recognize anywhere. Her voice is like the rest of her: a little angry and frustrated but sexy as hell, all the same.

His eyes slowly open to see Maxie picking up a cup off the floor. Off handedly, she says "Oh, you're awake. That's nice." With a shrug she turns to leave.

"I'm sure."

Sighing, she turns back around. "Do you have to do that every time? Be pitiful. _Oh, I'm sure_," she mocks. "As if no one would care if you live or die."

Pushing himself up slightly, Logan lets out a small moan. He catches sight of the clock and his eyebrows furrow together. "Nothing better to do at midnight?"

"Actually I do. Sleep. So see you."

"Can't run away fast enough, can you?" he teases. Moments before he wouldn't have thought he couldn't work up the energy to bother, but it seemed this woman brought it out of him.

"Shut up, idiot."

"I feel like hell. You can't even be nice to be today of all days. How'd you end up in here anyway?"

Slowly she turns to face him. And its there in her eyes. Guilt. So stark and deep that it takes the moisture right out of his mouth. He thinks he knows...no, that is lie...he does know. He just wish he didn't.

He asks "You come here to pull my plug?"

"No, that was last week I tried that."

For a long moment he just stares at her. Logan can't say he is shocked. If anyone had the guts to get revenge in the most brutal fashion available it was this woman standing before him. He couldn't say that wasn't one of the traits that first made him hot for her. She liked blackmail, lies, schemes, destruction. She didn't pull back out of pity- not ever. If you did her wrong, she made sure you would never forget she could come back at you, at any moment, and crush your happiness, like she believed you had done to her.

Still, there was a small part of him that had hoped she wouldn't feel that way about him. Even after what he did to her, what she did to him, what she must have been told about him being The TMK. But hoping was for fools.

"Tried? If you do something, its done. So why am I breathing?"

Her eyes darted down. "Must have been your lucky day."

"That would make it my first one ever."

She chuckles. "Whiner."

He smiles slightly. If he had to wake up and find anyone hovering over him, like he was an exhibit at the zoo, he could admit to himself he was glad it was her. She didn't expect anything out of him...not that he became a better man, like Scott hoped, or that he would grant absolution, like Lulu needed. Maxie wouldn't think Logan was capable of the first- she was probably right about that, he believed- and she sure as hell would never ask for the second.

After a moment, she asked "Do you need a doctor or something?"

"Oh, now you want to keep me alive, huh. Nah, I'm fine. I ...don't want to see anyone...all day long people have been in and out of here...they'll all be back soon enough...to poke and prod and," he groaned "want to talk."

Smiling she says "God forbid."

"What's there to talk about? I could have died. Looks like I didn't. End of story."

"No. The end of the story..." Her eyes fill with tears and her voice softened"...came for Coop and my sister. Don't you dare lump yourself in the same category as them. You get to check out of this place in a few days. You get to live. We both do. So what right do we have to feel sorry for ourselves?"

He hadn't meant to upset her. But of course that was par for the course. Almost everything that happened in his life was a result of something he had not met to happen.

"I still do," he says, his tone dry and brittle but underneath that something gentle rested. Something only she would get.

Blinking back her tears, Maxie straightened her shoulders, and softly admits "Yeah, me too."

XXXXXXXXX

Looking at him, in that moment, she felt understood. And in danger. Letting him too close was only reckless. He wasn't a good man. Hell, she wasn't a good woman. Together they were too much of everything insane in the world.

They shouldn't be friends. It was better to walk away now and never even glance back.

Still, like a moth to flame, she inched closer, her heels dragging on the tile. She would love to say she did not care, she never cared, she would never ever care...for him. No, never.

A little lie. She had told worse before. Her hand motioned at his bandaged head. "Your little girlfriend really did a number on you this time. She packs quite a wallop. What a crazy bitch."

"I thought that was her nickname for you."

"It better not be!"

He smirks.

She never would have thought she'd be glad to see that look on his face again. He wasn't dead. Maybe, tomorrow, she would go back to avoiding him and maybe, tomorrow, he would be glad when she didn't show up for her midnight visit, but right now all she could think was :

_One of my guys didn't die_.

Score one for Maxie.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Maxie found herself on Logan's doorstep nearly two weeks later.

She had heard he was released from the hospital today and though she told herself there was absolutely no reason to see him, still here she was twisting the handle and strolling inside like she owned the place.

"Knock, knoc-" she calls out in a fake cheery tone but the second word dies on her tongue because he's standing there in a nearly empty apartment, shoving things into a box.

"Just walk right in, why don't you."

"Thanks. I think I will." She slams the door. Suddenly she couldn't be angrier if she tried. He's leaving. He's walking right out of this town and her life.

He hasn't said a word to her since the night he woke up and now he's just leaving. Would anyone ever stay? Would she ever be smart enough to not care if the people she let close left town or hated her or died?

Caring about anything at all in this messed up world was completely overrated.

He asks, without looking at her, "What do you want?"

"You moving or something?"

"Yeah, something."

"What _something, _Logan?" Her words are so brittle they should make his head snap up, if he cared about her at all, she thinks. But he looks away instead.

XXXXXXXXX

He hasn't looked at her since she came in, and Logan figures, if he just keeps not looking at her then he won't be tempted to change all his plans. Because if Maxie is anything for him, she is and has always been,_ pure walking and talking, kissing and teasing, yelling and threatening to ruin him _temptation.

He busies himself with going into the kitchen where he opens the fridge and pulls out a beer. The doctors told him to take it easy for a while, if he didn't want to end up back in the hospital but he really doesn't care if that happens.

The hospital is one step closer to the grave and he hasn't decided if he wants to live for sure, not yet. That day may come or it may not when he does want to again, he isn't really worried about it. After hearing that Lulu, Scott and Maxie believed he was the Text Message Killer, he doesn't see much point in being alive, and he sure saw no point in living in Port Charles.

No one really knew him here. He would not look at Maxie and because then he would start to believe she was the only one who _did _get him. He had to hold on to his disillusionment. It was the one safe thing he had to count on right now.

He takes a chug of his beer. He leans against the counter, with his back toward her.

"Drinking. That's smart," she sneered. "Is this big dramatic scene-you packing up everything and moping around here-overthat silly tease Lulu? She doesn't want to go steady anymore and so there's no reason to go on?"

He ignores her question and asks "What are you doing here?"

"Well you don't have a friend in the world so I thought, out of pity and a sense of duty to Cooper, I would check on your sorry ass. I see I got here just in time. Let me tell you something, Logan, whatever you think you felt for that...child...you didn't. She was nothing more than a distraction for you anyway."

Smiling, he asks "Really? Why's that? Because I couldn't have you?"

He says it as a joke. But somewhere in the back of his brain is a whisper that taunts him saying there is more truth than lie in her words. And everybody knows it. He hadn't fooled Maxie or Lulu or Cooper. He only fooled himself...trying to make Lulu fill in the empty spaces, trying to make her fix him, when she never had it in her to pull it off, to fit. Maxie is the only one who has ever fit, and she only did for the span of a few minutes while they grasped each other desperately and rolled around his bed. Then he felt like someone got him.

But then changes nothing now.

XXXXXXXX

_Because I couldn't have you?_ Maxie hears the question repeat in her mind.

She had given a part of herself to him, but not the biggest part. Still giving that little piece is what caused such havoc for all of them. It is what made her feel shame filled and dirty. Not having sex with him, not even cheating with him, it was the giving. How could she had given some of herself away when she had a man like Cooper in love with her?

That was the unforgivable sin that lay between Maxie and Logan. It had made it hard to face him afterwards, knowing he knew so much she had never said aloud, but with Cooper and Georgie gone, with her so empty inside, she had to face Logan now. She had to see that person who knew her.

But if he knew her, and knew how she was barely hanging on, how could he leave?

Maxie threw back at Logan "You said it, not me. The whole thing is actually sad. But nothing to flip out over. You don't have to leave town because Lulu isn't into you this week. Don't be that pathetic, Logan."

"I'm going, Maxie." Each word is low and final.

_I'm going I'm going I'm going I'm going_ she hears in her head._ He's already gone_. _Logan is gone_.

It is all over.

Somehow she never thought, when he walked into the Metro Court last year, that this is how it would end. With Georgie and Cooper buried; Maxie and Logan wishing they were, too.

Slowly he turns around. His light eyes flick with a mixture of lust, regrets and pain. The way he only looks when looking at her. The way she only looks when looking at him.

He says "I'm taking a bus to Texas tomorrow morning."

"Can't handle sticking around to see how this plays out?"

"I know how it does. Scott will never see me as more than a criminal. He never introduced me to his folks, to my sisters. I'm the black sheep in that family and won't ever be anything else. I don't have a job here. No friends. Nothing. What is there to stay for?"

Maxie knew she hadn't been close with him in a while. But that didn't stop it from hurting that he could walk out of her life like it was no big deal. There was no way she would say that to him though. "I guess nothing."

She turns and heads for the door. Her face crumples and she hates that. It's ridiculous to care. She should make that a rule to live by.

_Never care again_.

Her hand closes around the handle just as Logan whispers her name. The last thing she wants to hear is him say the word_ good-bye_ but she stops anyway.


	3. Chapter 3

Undone in this Mad Season

**Chapter Three**

_I'm going I'm going I'm going I'm going _Maxie hears in her head._ He's already gone_. _Logan is gone_.

Nothing she says now will change a thing. Still she tries, pathetically, to goad him into changing his mind but it fails. He's stubborn, angry and over it all. Over_ her_.

She turns and heads for the door. Her face crumples and she hates that. It's ridiculous to care.

He whispers her name, the sound probably the most gentle word he has ever said to her.

She hardens her posture and fakes disinterest before turning to face him. With a pout on her lips, she asks "Yeah?"

"Take care of yourself, okay?"

"And who will take care of you? Or, let me guess, you don't need anyone, right? After all you're a bad ass rebel without a clue, aren't you? Always running and getting no where. If you run this time...you will regret it."

He only says one word but she knows what it means. "Don't."

_Don't try and save me. Don't care about me. Don't think you can change my mind_.

"I'm not doing anything. I'm done. Just like you, Logan." Her hand waves through the air to indicate his packed up apartment, the place they slept together and the place they tried to pretend they didn't feel a thing.

But she felt too much then and too much now. Her world is splintering apart. And there seems to be no end in sight. Blow after blow, loss after loss. All she wanted was someone to hold onto...Georgie or Cooper...but they were gone. Maybe she really wanted her mom...But Felicia is just as gone as the ones who have died. How can Logan leave when they were all gone already?

Doesn't he know she needs him? Even if it is just to know he was in this apartment and she could come here if she ever fell to pieces and didn't want to think or be sane. If she wanted to just lose it in his arms like she had before. Just let go and drown out all the voices in her head by kissing him. Falling into the heat of them...having that place where she knew she could go to survive.

Somehow Maxie had thought he would be around for that. But he obviously didn't find her worthy of staying for. Logan hadn't broken her heart but something inside...something felt broken, even more than it had been the day before, but less than it would be tomorrow. It was never supposed to go this way. She was never supposed to care this much.

If only Maxie could feel nothing now. Like Logan must.

XXXXXXX

"It's just time for me to go," he says to her. "I overstayed my welcome in this town."

"You tell Scott? Lulu?" She crosses her hands over her chest.

"No. They won't care anyway."

"You weren't going to say a word to anyone, _were you_?"

Logan hears the pain beneath her anger. Even though it kills him to have this conversation, and he could barely work up the courage to meet her eyes earlier, he is glad she stopped by. This is his last chance to look at her. So he drinks her in...the curve of her cheek, the softness of her lips, those eyes that open a little too wide and show the world all that she would like to hide.

The woman he was never supposed to touch. But he had and once he did, it was too late to do anything but let her crawl beneath his skin and ruin him. If he had a little more guts, he would have fought for her and not assumed that Cooper, his perfect best friend who could do no wrong, would automatically have been her choice.

_Don't be a moron, _he tells himself now, _Of course she would have picked Cooper. Cooper was better...everything I'm not. She deserved Cooper then and now. _

What it came down to: Logan hadn't have the nerve to go for what he wanted, he could sleep with her but not ever say he wanted more. It was much easier to chase after Lulu. She was hardly a challenge and he hadn't thought she could ever hurt him as much as she did. _Wrong again_. Maybe one day he would stop being so wrong and messing up everything that came his way.

But that day wouldn't be today.

He slugs back the rest of his beer, tosses it in the trash, and walks around the counter. "Nah. I don't go in for those teary good bye scenes where people lie about writing and calling and caring. I don't got any desire to do that with Scott or Lulu."

Logan had thought, in the first moments after Cooper died, that he went numb. That he would never feel anything again. He had been cold and cruel that day and the truth was he had liked feeling that way. That was much better than breaking down.

But that had been just a temporary reaction.

Later he cried in the shower, later he raged in a bar, later he fought anyone who looked at him funny and begged Lulu to be the one person to not give up on him. And now...he felt everything a head and a heart and a soul could feel. As Maxie glared at him, accusingly, angry he was leaving her behind and angry he wasn't as brave as Cooper. Cooper would have never left her on purpose.

_And I screw up again._

"So I guess you expect me to tell them?" Maxie asks "Well you can forget it. I'll let them put out an APB for you and search for days. Little Lulu can wring her hands and wonder how she will ever survive losing another member of her harem."

Logan walks close to her. "She'll get over it quick enough...and so will you."

"I'm over it," she breathes out, lying. And he knows it's a lie. It doesn't surprise him that she thinks she needs him now. He's all that is left but that still doesn't make him any different than before. It doesn't make him brave enough to claim her as his. It doesn't give him hope, nor faith, nor courage to walk into the fire they would create together and believe he would not end up burned alive.

They both know what it is like to let love destroy you. She wants to dive back in anyway, because it will make her not think of what she had lost for the length of one kiss, and while she is in his bed she will not fear anything at all for a few minutes. But Logan can't be her place to hide right now. Because he always cares too much...he always needs too much...he always wants it all...and he always loses.

Now he just wants to be alone, cold, empty. Done.

Still he leans close to her, as she stiffens. Whispering in her ear, he says "Do me a favor, okay? Forget we ever met... because I'm going to."

She sucks in a shaky breath. Her voice is breaking when she tells him "You're already forgotten." Maxie pushes Logan away, and then hurries out the door.

He steps outside and watches her until she disappears from his sight.

They started on a bet. They ended on a lie. The only thing was, they both knew then that it was a lot more than a bet that made him kiss her and her risk all her happiness to get that kiss, and they both knew now that neither one of them believed the lies they had just told.

She had only been gone a minute, and already he wanted her back. Already he regretted letting her leave. Already he stands there telling himself it doesn't matter if he ever sees her again.

_Forget we ever met... because I'm going to._

_You're already forgotten_

They are both expert liars.

Note- There are more chapters left in this.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four **

Maxie tries to lose herself in her friends. Spinelli hangs around her more. Maybe out of pity and maybe because he has no one else to hang around now that Lulu spends all her time with Johnny.

Sometimes Spinelli can make Maxie smile, in off moments, but there is one thing he can't ever manage to do and that is to make her forget. She wants to forget everything and have just one perfect minute where no one she loves is dead or gone.

But nothing wipes the pain away.

Even straight tequila doesn't do it. She drinks more than her fair share anyway. Because she has no better idea of how to drown her sister's voice from her head or Cooper's promises from her heart.

_I believe in you. I will never leave you._

Everything they were, so good and beautiful, was everything she couldn't do without. Yet do without she must.

Maxie and Sam become regulars at Jake's Bar, and soon Maxie gets to know the room upstairs. The man she's with is running from himself, his fears and doubts, and she's running from her memories. When its over, Maxie can not get out of that room fast enough. Patrick doesn't say anything but his eyes are glazed. She doubts he fixed his problem in her arms and she knows she didn't lose her demons in his.

She doesn't feel bad about that one night stand. She doesn't feel much of anything at all these days. She'd tells Coleman, one night when she is drunk, "I'm finally comfortably numb."

But she isn't comfortable, not really. She's just numb. And filled with memories of her lost sister and lost boyfriend and lost hope.

What Maxie refuses to do is think of Logan. That does not mean he doesn't enter her mind. He's in her room, where they kissed, he's in the Metro Court Lobby, where they met, he's at the diner and the park and docks. But, when the slightest memory comes, she pushes it away. He left and he did not want to be remembered.

So hell with him.

When Coldplay's _Fix You_ comes on the radio, as she driving to two towns over, she quickly flips it off. Maxie knows she broken. And she just doesn't see a way to ever change that.

All her chances died when all the people who were supposed to save her died. Then the rest ran away. Sure, there's Mac. But to lean on him would make her a burden. He'd already lost his perfect daughter, his imperfect one refused to give him any more trouble or heartache to add to his grief.

So as winter turned to spring that year, anyone who looked at Maxie would have thought she was growing harder and harder: more sarcastic, bitchy and rude. But the truth no one could see- because the only one who really could just look and know, he had chickened out and ran off to Texas- what they couldn't know, was Maxie was shattering, day after day, time after time.

Nothing seemed real. No one seemed enough to fill her up. She kept reaching for something that could make wake her up again, but nothing she grabbed did the job.

Until the day she delivers three dresses to a hotel in Rochester. As she walks back to her car she sees a guy entering a coffee shop across the street. It's not that she gets a good look at him- in his blue jeans, white t-shirt and construction hard hat in his hand, but even in that quick flash before he moves out of her sight, she knows it is Logan.

It is not her eyes that confirms it. Instead it was the fluttering of awareness that moves through her stomach, then her lungs, until she sucks in a breath then lets it out in a quick puff. Maxie jogs across the street, nearly getting hit by a cab. "Damn!" she yells at the driver. "Are you blind? Pedestrians have the right of way, idiot."

She yanks open the door to the diner and marches right over to the counter, where he is sitting. "You know what...you're an asshole."

It takes a long minute for him to turn around. And even though Maxie is so pissed off that she can taste her anger on her tongue, she also feels something else in that minute of waiting: a rush of adrenaline tingling through her bloodstream. It's the first confirmation she has had in months that she is really still alive.

_Logan didn't leave me forever. Its not all over_.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Six words. Spoken in her angry, bitter tone. One cold accusation. But it leaves him smiling. Still Logan doesn't turn around right away, because once he does it will be all over. He won't be able to hide in Rochester anymore. He'll have to feel again, try again, live again.

_Mess it all up again. Hurt her again. Lose what I want most again_. Still he can't resist being drawn towards her anyway. Though it might be better that he stays away from her, Logan has never been able to stay away from this woman for too long.

Even when he should. And he always should.

Logan has seen Maxie, since that day at the end of March when said he was leaving town, but not heard her voice in anywhere but the dreams that torture him at night. Some are filled with her kissing him, some are filled with her hating him, all make him wake up in a cold sweat.

It took about five days before he broke down and snuck back to Port Charles to spy on her. At first he told himself it was just to check that she wasn't suicidal or anything. But later, after he made it a weekly thing to look in on her, he admitted to himself it was more about him needing to see her then worrying she needed him to save her. How could he? He couldn't even save his own damn sad self.

Logan turns around and to her _You know what...you're an asshole_, he answers "I've been told that before."

"This isn't Texas."

Looking around he says "It isn't? That damn bus driver..."

Maxie smacks his arm. "Liar. You sneaky little punk!"

"Careful now, keep this up, and I won't think you missed me at all."

Her eyes are wide, filled with bits of rage, need and heartache. He could stare into them for hours and still not get enough. Because only when he looks in these eyes of hers does he not feel likes he's half dead inside. He wouldn't have chosen her to make him feel this way. But it was never a choice. It just was. _Is._

Logan thinks it is inevitable they will wreck themselves and each other. And yet he smiles now, despite knowing what is coming down the road. Because she's less than a foot away and, for the first time in months and months, he can actually breathe easily.

She crosses her arms over her chest, swinging her little designer purse within an inch of hitting him. "So you made up that whole line about going to Texas? You stuck around to see Scott? Beg Lulu for your nine thousandth chance to be her lap dog? But you didn't want me to know you were still here. That's freaking perfect. You know, I really don't care. You went to way too much trouble to get away from me. All you had to do was say _Stay the hell away from me! _And I would have _stayed the hell away from you_!" That is a lie and they both know it.

Several people turn to gawk at the ranting woman. Logan tells her she's making a scene.

"Like I give a shit!"

Finally he stands up, closes the gap between them with one step, and touches her arm. She tenses but falls silent. He tells her, in a low tone that no one else could overhear, "You're looking good, Max." His eyes move down to her short little skirt.

She hisses "Pervert," but smiles slightly.

He figures he better explain before she starts screaming again. "I did leave for Texas. The bus broke down here, got a flat tire. My luck, right? We all had to get off and I...just never got back on."

"What in the hell was so great about this town?"

"Nothing. It just wasn't Port Charles. And I guess that was the point." The truth was he knew if he got back on that bus he would never see her again. He would get caught up in his old life in Texas, his old friends, screw ups every last one of them, his old habits, none of them legal, and soon he'd be in prison. It wasn't that he really cared if he ended up there or some cemetery, at least he told himself he didn't care, but there was something about being so far away from her that made him feel sick to his stomach that day.

But he couldn't go back and face her then. She needed him to be strong for her. But he wasn't. Not then. Logan had known, or had feared, he couldn't save Maxie so he decided to not try. Because trying only made things worse.

"The point of what? You wanted to start over, huh? Well did it work? Are you...are you _happy_, Logan?"

His heart twisted at how her words started hard and ended soft and broken words, and the way her eyes lightened with unshed tears. She didn't think he should be happy without her.

Well, she didn't have to worry, because he wasn't.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Standing in Pete's Diner in Rochester, which isn't so different than Kelly's Diner in Port Charles, Logan confesses to Maxie "I did leave for Texas. The bus broke down here, got a flat tire. My luck, right? We all had to get off and I...just never got back on."

"What in the hell was so great about this town?"

"Nothing. It just wasn't Port Charles. And I guess that was the point." 

"The point of what? You wanted to start over, huh? Well did it work? Are you...are you _happy_, Logan?"

He lets out a mirthless laugh. "No. But I wasn't expecting to be either. So no big loss." He turns back to the counter, grabs a menu and asks "You want lunch? I got twenty more minutes till I got to get back."

"Whatever. Sure. I guess."

She plops into a seat. He notices she never takes her eyes off him. His skin starts to burn underneath her inspection. Though he knows he is just as messed up as when they met last, it feels good that someone actually wants to see him, be near him, to yell at him because she gives a damn. 

After they order, she is still wearing a ticked off expression so he says "I didn't see Scott or Lulu either so you can drop the jealous routine at any point now."

"Jealous? Over you? Don't you wish."

Shaking his head, he doesn't mention how she has already more than given herself away. 

Maxie says "So how did you manage to keep yourself from stalking our fair Lulu -The Good Blonde One?"

Smirking, he shrugged. "Guess that wrench of hers knocked some sense into me after all."

"That's not funny."

"It's a little bit funny."

She smiles and its like time decides to start ticking again. 

For both of them, it was in the moment they saw Cooper dead, when time stopped. Numbness took over. Everything was going through the motions until the moment she asked, without saying the words, him not to leave her behind and he did anyway...they felt everything in that moment, too much and yet not enough to make him hold on. After that it was back to numb and pretending to be alive.

But sitting across from her at this table wasn't pretend. Logan was acutely aware that his heart was beating a little faster in his chest, and that his body tensed every time she licked her lips, and his heart turned over when her eyes finally lost a little of their ever present misery. 

"So, how much trouble have you managed to get into over here? How many bar fights? Arrests? Bimbos?"

"A couple. None. And none of your damn business."

Smiling she says "You're so full of it. I bet the real answer is 10, 10 and...none because you can't stop crying over Lulu. All men mourn her till their dying..." Maxie stops cold. She can joke with him but not about death. 

Suddenly she can't look him in the eye.

Logan shifts in his seat, leaning closer to her. "Hey," is all he can manage to say, but its soft and kind, his drawn out southern drawl makes the word into three syllables. 

"I tell myself...its okay to laugh. But its not. How can it be? They can't laugh. Coop and Georgie. They can't sit in a diner and...feel good. So why should I get to? Don't you ever think like that?" Her eyes come up to connect with his, and she knows his answer before he speaks.

"All the damn time."

"So...where does that leave us?"

The question hangs in the air, becoming about more than their grief or their guilt. The waitress sets down the food. Logan says "That leaves us eating greasy hamburgers that are supposed to be bad enough to kill us...but we both know they won't. So eat up." He grabs a french fry off her plate.

After a moment, she is calm again. He used to be the one person who made her crazy. Now she wonders if he is the only one that could keep her sane.

"You're paying for this lunch, I hope you know," Maxie tells Logan.

"What makes you think I have any money? Looks like you're washing dishes."

"In this outfit, not likely."

"I'm sure they'll let you work naked."

"Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?"

His eyes said yes but his mouth joked "Nope. I only like looking at Lulu now."

She kicked him, under the table. "Jerk!"

Sitting across from her, he can't help but smile and think of her earlier question:

_You wanted to start over, huh? Well did it work? Are you...are you happy, Logan_?

Yeah, he's happy...finally.

XXXXXXXXXXX

They stand with barely a breath between them outside the diner. For two people that aren't even friends, in any conventional sense of the word at least, both Maxie and Logan feel comfort by having the other person within reach.

"I should get back to work," he says but doesn't step back.

Everything in Maxie is aching to ask him if he plans on moving back to Port Charles or even gives a damn if they ever see each other again, but she refuses to give into the urge. If he wants to see her, he knows where to find her.

And although a huge part of her can admit she needs to see Logan to cope, not all of her heart and mind and pride is ready to accept that little fact. Just in case he isn't back in her life after all. Just in case he doesn't care at all.

With a shrug, she tells him "Bye then."

"Listen I'd appreciate if you don't tell anyone I'm living here. I don't need Scott beating down my door and trying to play Father of the Year again."

"I don't know where your door is. So the best I could do is tell him to stake out this diner. Maybe I'll send little Lulu this way. I'm sure she's just about ready to throw Johnny over and pick a new guy from her harem. You could still have a shot." Maxie smirks because he gets uncomfortable every time she teases about Lulu.

"Nah, that's all right. I'll take a pass. If I'm gonna stand in line for anyone, its not gonna be her...never again."

"I thought you don't stand in line?" 

"Looks like I was wrong." 

She could take that to be about Lulu, but its not, and Maxie knows it because Logan's eyes darken with heat and memories...the same memories that she can't erase from her subconscious no matter how hard she tries. She'd love to throw back an_ I told you so_ but the words won't come. Instead she just enjoys looking into his eyes and knowing, for the first time in months, he's still in this with her.

Logan leans even closer to her and she takes in a quick breath. His lips brush her cheek, and she inhales the scent of him for one quick second, then he steps back. The kiss is not sweet, for nothing about him has ever been sweet, it is more a branding of her...physical proof upon her skin of his desire for her still. He whispers, in his teasing southern drawl,"That skirt looks hot on you but the silver one is way, way hotter."

Logan is walking backwards on the sidewalk while Maxie gapes at him. 

"Silver one?"

"Yeah."

She knows when she bought every single piece of clothes in her closet. This woman is obsessed with her clothes and shoes and accessories. The silver skirt was bought for a night at Jake's, when she wanted to screw up her whole world. It was bought after Logan moved out of Port Charles.

Maxie calls out "Have you been spying on me?"

"Stalking," he jokes.

She pouts at his answer, pretending to be ticked off, but she secretly loves it. He checked in on her. He didn't just walk off and not look back.

He remembered her.

Right before Logan turns to leave, he adds "And if you want to stalk me back...I live in the Chestnut Hill complex. Apartment 6B."

"As if I would stalk you."

"Yeah, we'll see, I guess," is all he answers and then he turns the corner and is out of her sight.

Maxie looks at her watch and wonders what time he might be getting off work.

Would it be crazy to chase after him? Hell yes. He's brought so much trouble and heartache into her world that she could officially nickname him The Hayes Plague. But she did the same back to him. 

And now there is only Logan who knows why her heart is torn apart, who knows the exact shape of her guilt because his is a replica, who knows she is still aching for Cooper and doesn't blame her for that. He's aching too. They both would rather Cooper be here, even if that meant they could never lay eyes on each other again.

But Coop's not here. And she's not going to lie to herself today. Patrick can't soothe her heartache with his kisses. Spinelli can't ease her grief with his jokes. But Logan can temper the sharp edges of her pain, and regret, and loss...just by looking in her eyes. Because then she sees she's not really alone after all.

Then she sees that not everything is lost.


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for reading and reviewing. I'm still trying to figure out this couple- Sara

**Undone in this Mad Season**

**Chapter Six**

Her blood thumped with adrenaline as she made her way back to her car. 

Maybe it was the destructive part of her nature but Maxie had the urge to chase after Logan and concoct some way for them to get into trouble together. 

Push him against a brick wall for one searing kiss. Throw back shots in some hole in the wall bar, then dance on the pool table. Let him drive her car ninety miles an hour down the expressway and head to Canada for the weekend, charging Mac's credit card to the limit. She wanted to do something wild and she wanted to do it with him.

Maxie hadn't felt this way in five months, not even for one moment since that bitterly cold night in December when her world went dark, her joy drained away with Lucky's words _It's your sister._ All those nights in Jake's where she tried to forget, never made her blood race or her skin tingle. 

But Logan did. It might just be the only thing left in the world that could.

Still, Maxie wasn't the same woman she was before Lucky spoke. And she certainly was not the same woman as before she found Cooper.

Now, all her nerve endings were raw, as if they had been cut and exposed with her twin losses. There was something in her that held back her recklessness to a degree now. Just one degree. Just enough to make her think twice in this moment.

So even though she wanted to cause some hell, Maxie got into her car and drove back to the boutique to finish her shift. But there was not a moment when Logan didn't linger in her thoughts. Like a drum beating in the back of her mind, a refrain repeated: _he's back, he's back, he's back, he's back._

And a softer voice, every now and then, slipped in two very provocative words, words with the power to change everything: _He's mine_. 

Maxie was used to being left behind. What she wasn't used to was having someone who wanted to leave, tried to leave, and found out he couldn't.

The very thought kept a sly, secret smile on her face for the rest of her day.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

_Caught._

That one word stayed wedged in Logan's mind through his shift at the construction company, on his ride home, during his long cold shower, and while he ate dinner.

_Caught. Caught. Caught._

He could have lied to himself and said it was just about someone finally catching on to the fact he hadn't moved to Texas, that he had been in and out of Port Charles many times in the last two months, but he knew it wasn't anything so general that had that word stuck in his head. It was all very specific: smoky blue eyes, four inch heels, lies on her lips, schemes in her mind, a comeback for everything, a soft threat in his ear as he sank inside of her _Don't you dare fall for me._

Maxie was not just a chick from his past who messed him up or who he had messed up right back. Sure, she was that. But more.

And it was the _more_ that worried Logan. He wanted her around, and yet that was also the last thing he wanted. Because Maxie made this man who hated feeling anything anymore feel too damn much to be safe, too much to be healthy, too much to be sane. He knew he should really have gotten back on that bus and went home. But now home didn't feel like Texas.

_Caught. Caught. Caught._

Glancing at the clock, as he had every five minutes since he walked in the door, Logan saw it was now 9:45 pm.

_Damn it, Maxie_, he thought _Where the hell are you_?

(_Hey  
J-J-J-Jaded  
You've got your mama's style but you're yesterday's child to me._

_  
So Jaded._

_  
You think that's where it's at but is that where it's supposed to be?  
You're gettin' it all over me  
X-rated_

My, my, baby blue  
(Yeah I'm thinkin' 'bout you)  
My, my, baby blue  
Yeah, you're so Jaded  
And I'm the one that Jaded you ) (Aerosmith)

_**11:30 pm**_

"Can I ask you something? Why in the _hell,_" Sam asked Maxie "are we at Jake's if you aren't even gonna drink?"

Maxie lifted her glass. "I'm drinking." Her eyes darted around, as they had been since she came into the bar, constantly checking and rechecking every corner, as if he could have snuck in without her noticing.

"One Cosmo?" Sam rolled her eyes. "You're playing songs on that jukebox more than anything else

You even think about putting on Jaded one more time and I'm breaking your fingers. Come on, fess up, we're actually here because you're hoping that Patrick brings his hottie doctor ass in here tonight, aren't you? You can tell me." Sam smiled. "What are best friends for if not to share your scheme for stealing your cousin's baby daddy?"

"Shhhh! I told you I'm not into him. Drop that already. I don't want to talk about that...and not 

here for sure. I don't need Robin hating me."

"Hmm," Sam sat back in her chair. "You don't sound like your lying. So that leaves me wondering who you've been hoping walks through that door for the last three hours? What secrets are you keeping from me?"

"Nothing. Why are you playing Detective? You miss Lucky so bad you're acting like him now?"

Sam downed her jack and Coke, then called out to Coleman for another. "Don't try stonewalling me. Jason was the master of that little move and I always figured out the truth in the end anyway."

"Good for you." Maxie drained her drink. "You happy now?"

"It's a start. But if you really came here to have some fun then...why don't you go hit on that gorgeous cop who's checking you out? I know you can't resist cops, right? If you're really not waiting on Patrick..." 

Maxie followed Sam's gaze and saw Cruz Rodriguez watching her. In order to shut Sam up, and because she had no intention of saying she had asked Logan to meet her here and he didn't show up, Maxie quickly stood up and walked over to Cruz. 

"You keep looking at me that way, and my Daddy's gonna lock you up."

"Its so inappropriate, I know," he teased. After seeing her at this very bar many times in the last few months, he had no doubt about what kind of woman she was, the kind out for just a good time. If he wasn't already drunk, he would have remembered why he never hit on her before but all his good sense was washed away by Tequila shooters.

Maxie eased close to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "So very inappropriate." They started to sway to the music.

He leaned close and whispered in her ear "They don't make em hotter than you."

Last week that line would have made her feel wanted, craved even. Not better and not whole but something. Less alone maybe. Now she only felt dirty. Because if Logan didn't show up she knew what she would do. 

Drown in the nearest sin that was available.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Logan walked into Jake's. He shook his head at his own foolishness. First he let his cell phone battery die at work, and missed Maxie's call. When he finally got it charged at around 11pm, and checked his messages, all she had said was one word "Jake's."

A dare. He had never backed down from a dare in his life, and of course she knew that. So while Logan was sitting at home thinking he had set it up perfect for her to not be able to resist coming and knocking on his door, she was in this bar smug over the fact she had turned the tables on him. If he wanted her, he'd have to come and get her.

It didn't take but a second for Logan to spot Maxie. Cruz had his arms around her waist, and his mouth close to her ear.

_Didn't wait too long for me, did you,_? Logan silently asks her. Then thinks _I should just turn around and leave. She's just as screwed up as me. She's fire and I'm gonna be burned_. _Again._

Her back was turned to him. He could leave and she'd never know he had been there at all.

(_Hey  
J-J-J-Jaded  
There ain't no "baby please" when I'm shootin' the breeze with her._

_When everything you see is a blur and ecstasy's what you prefer!_

_  
My, my, baby blue  
Yeah, you're so Jaded (Baby)  
Jaded (Baby)  
You're so Jaded  
'Cause I'm the one that Jaded you _)


	7. Chapter 7

_**Undone in this Mad Season**_

_**Chapter Seven**_

He watches Maxie dancing with Cruz, and his mouth sets into a thin hard line.

Logan has known jealousy before. He's been jealous of just about everyone he ever met. Jealous of other little boys in grade school who had fathers. Jealous of the snobby high class bitches in high school who drove sports cars but liked to sleep with him, because he was dirty and wrong and who their mother would never approve of. Jealous of Cooper for being more courageous, more forgiving, for being strong in all the ways Logan was weak. Jealous of Johnny for being rich. Sonny for having power. It all struck Logan as unfair and caused bile to almost constantly toss in his gut.

What he felt now was thousandths of levels more intense that those petty jealousies of the past.

He couldn't see Maxie's face but he bet she wore a smile. For Cruz. And her eyes promised salvation. A chance to get lost in her. And her lips curved with words that wouldn't be honest but would sound good enough to believe.

Logan had no doubt if he left Jake's then Maxie and Cruz would end up in bed together. He could go to a bar down the street and find his own warm, willing body to forget with but he knew that wouldn't work for him. Not anymore.

He had tried it on day four in Rochester. One last attempt to really erase Maxie and everything he could never have and should have never wanted- all he lost, Cooper, Scott, Lulu, everything about this sinful filthy murderous town of Port Charles- from his mind. He went home with a redhead named Callie. It felt good but not right. And in the morning he drove two towns over and watched Maxie walk from her house to her car to head off to work.

He hated that she still intrigued him. But he'd come to accept it now. She was inside of him, she lingered and he wasn't gonna shake her no matter how hard he tried. And maybe the minute she realized it was the same for her with him, they'd finally start to get somewhere.

He wouldn't know if walked away. And even if he wanted to, he couldn't have at that moment. Because what he learned in the months away from her was that he'd end up walking right back to her eventually.

He made his way over to where they were dancing, and standing right behind Maxie, he said "Tell your friend good night, darlin'."

XXXXXXXXX

Each word flutters down her spine. Maxie feels Logan's breath on her neck- warming her, branding her as his. A smile graces her lips as she pushes away from Cruz.

Spinning around, she puts on a pout. "You're late. I had to find some way to amuse myself."

"Yeah, this looks real amusing to me. Lets go."

"Hey," Cruz said "you need to back off. She'll leave when she's ready."

Maxie watches Logan's face grow dark. He was about five seconds away from punching Cruz, if she is calculating right. Even though it was thrilling to know he hates the fact she was dancing with another guy, it wouldn't do her any good to see him locked up tonight. Then she wouldn't get her fix. And each second that passes, she needs that fix more and more.

She needs to just be near him.

Maxie smiles at Cruz, while brushing her hand over his bicep. "Thanks. But I can handle him on my own. See you around the station, officer."

"You sure? We were just starting to have fun."

"Look man, _she said_-" Logan ground out through clenched teeth.

Maxie shot Logan a dirty look then told Cruz. "I'm sure." 

She grabbed Logan's hand and drug him over to the bar. "Don't think you can tell me who I can dance with. I'll do what I want and don't you forget it. That's your problem, or one of them because you have plenty, you're too possessive. I'm not Little Lulu so don't think that impresses me."

"Yeah, yeah. I got it. So did you ask me here to bitch me out or what? Cause I could just leave..."

"You show up late and then leave after five minutes. Fun!" Maxie turns to Coleman."He'll take a beer."

Coleman passes Logan the drink.

Maxie said "I was feeling sorry for you, since you've been hiding out for months all alone, and thought you might like to get out and see how the humans live again. You look all pale and pasty, like you haven't see the sun in years."

"I do not."

Actually, he was quite tan from working outside, which made his light eyes pop out even more. He looked better than ever, and that was saying a damn lot, but she's not about to tell him that.

Logan takes a seat on a bar stool. Maxie immediately moves close to him, reaching past him to grab a bowl of peanuts that she has no interest in eating, and making it so she ends up standing between his legs. Her eyes connect with his and they both take a moment to just enjoy being this near each other.

"How much havoc have you caused tonight?" he asks in a low whisper "Was Cruz your first casualty?"

"I didn't come here to chase ass. I've been hanging out with Sam." Maxie nods at her. Logan looks over and sees Sam sitting at a table with Max and Milo Giambetti now. She waves and gives Maxie an _I'm so onto you_ look.

"Besides," Maxie whispered, causing Logan to focus on her again "its none of your business."

He teased, his southern drawl making the words come out slow and sensual, "You're not my business, huh? Since when?"

"Always," she lied.

"Never," he responded back earning a smile from Maxie.

_It was never supposed to be you_, she thinks to herself, _You were never supposed to matter, Hayes. You were never supposed to get this close, sink so deep into me. This was off limits. This was everything I never wanted...and everything I'm not gonna be able to get by without. You. How in the hell did you do this to me?_

She moves away and sits on the stool next to him. "Yeah, right."

Logan takes a drink of his beer. "So why'd you ask me here? Miss me already? Its been only ten and a half hours since you saw me last."

"He says without looking at his watch."

Smirking, Logan shoots back with "She calls five hours after seeing me."

"I thought you needed a kick in the ass to get you back to this town. See? Its not so scary here. Big bad Scott could walk in at any minute and you'd be fine. You came here knowing you could run into your dad or Lulu or, God forbid, the loser she threw you over for The Young Cursed One."

Logan stills. "That's Spinelli talk. You been getting close to him lately?"

"Oh, you know, he was crazy about Georgie and she was crazy about him but neither of them said that so now he's all guilt ridden, which he should be! And so we've been hanging out sometimes. He helped me investigate Coop's murder." Her voice grows soft as she thinks of those hard, lonely days she almost didn't survive. "He's helped me a lot, actually."

"That's great," Logan says it in the same tone as curse words.

XXXXXXXXXXX

He should be used to it by now. Every time he should be the guy someone leans on he runs away or fails to be enough, and someone else steps in to take his place. Its not like he hates Spinelli for being there for Maxie but he doesn't like it. He doesn't like that Spinelli could so easily be the man that Logan should be.

"Oh don't tell me you're still pissed cause he calls you The Crabby Commando? Get over it already."

"Look I didn't come her to talk about that kid."

She smiles. "No, you came here to see me."

Turning his head, to meet her eyes again, he says "Yeah," for a long moment their eyes hold. "So don't bore me."

She slaps his arm. "Jerk!"

He catches her hand before he can pull it back and intertwines their fingers, then slowly lets her hand slip free again. "You knew that from the start. Don't start complaining now."

XXXXXXXXXX

She walks him out to his car when the bar closes. They spent two hours shooting pool. He insists he let her win. But that's a lie. She won cause she's good.

Maxie leans on his car and asks "So when are you moving home? Cause driving to Rochester will be a killer on my gas tank."

"So don't visit me."

"Stop being an idiot."

"I can't. I was born that way."

"Fine. Whatever. Stay there. Hide forever. Scott will probably forget you were ever born, if you give him long enough. Right? That's real logical."

"Not everything I do is about that man."

"It sure looks like it to me."

"I moved away _for me. _That was about me. I needed time to think straight. After...everything...after what happened with Coop...and everyone thinking I was a killer, it being easy for people to think that about me, and for me to call Cooper that...everything was just so jumbled in my head. I left _for me."_

"So come back_ for you_."

"What you are really asking me to do, Maxie," his words were low and filled with heat, as he pinned her against the car. Logan raised one hold and rested it on the roof, the leaned close to her "is come back for you."


	8. Chapter 8

_**Undone in this Mad Season**_

_**Chapter Eight**_

Logan can't stop the warmth that spreads through his chest when Maxie asks him _"So when are you moving home?"_

But that doesn't mean he's gonna jump at the chance to live in Port Charles again. Instead of smiling and asking "_You missed me, huh?" _he snarks at her and she snarks back.

Finally, he confesses "I moved away for me. That was about me. I needed time to think straight. After...everything...after what happened with Coop...and everyone thinking I was a killer, it being easy for people to think that about me, and for me to call Cooper that...everything was just so jumbled in my head. I left for me."

"So come backfor you" Her eyes challenge him to man up and be who she wants, who she needs, be who he should be. Or at least give it a freaking try.

She really needs him to try and he knows it.

"What you are really asking me to do, Maxie," each word is intimate, a revealing of their truth inch by inch "is come back for you."

His body molds to hers as he pins her to the car. She presses closer, tempting danger, when most other woman would have the good sense to push him away.

She knows too much about him. How he's not her hero. How she isn't an angel in his arms. She's kerosene, and he's her favorite match. If she wanted to burn her world down, it would be his door she'd pound on. It was his door she landed on, more than once in fact, already.

Logan knows she is not looking to do that this time though. That is what makes his spine shiver. This time is for real. Whatever they ending up being, it will be because they made a conscious choice, not just cause they give in to their worst impulses and their biggest fears.

When they kissed the year before, it had been both silently saying _Break me. _If they kiss now, they wouldn't be saying _Save me_, because neither was sure they could be saved. It would be _Adore me. Choose me. Know me. Stay_.

Logan brings one hand up to caress her neck, then grips the back of her head. "Aren't you, darlin?

"I'm not asking you to do anything for me," she whispers, defiance in her tone.

He watches as she bites her lip. He nips at her bottom lip, causing a soft moan to escape her. "Liar."

"Watch who you call a liar there, Kettle." She pushes him away and reverses their positions, slamming him into the car and once again sliding her body against his. 

"Kettle?" He smirks. 

"Pot calling the kettle black. Never heard of that?" She swivels her hips, grinding against him. "Or are you having trouble thinking straight right now?"

'Nah, I'm fine," he lies. "You really don't do much for me."

His body's reaction to her movements tells Maxie that isn't true, and she laughs. Her hands slide up his chest. "Mmm hmmm, I just bet I don't."

He catches her hand, stilling her nails from raking over his t-shirt. "You want to hear a saying? I got a saying for you. Play with fire and you're gonna get torched."

"Its burned."

"With us, its torched." 

And even though he is warning her off, his own brain doesn't hear what he just said, because as soon as the last syllable is out his mouth hits hers. Logan pulls her closer, as their mouths open, and he wonders if he'll ever get her close enough. Like with everything, he is greedy, and always aching for more, more, more. She's what he's ached for most and, what feels like, longest. 

It hasn't been that long really. A year and a few months. It just feels longest.

She's smiling when she breaks the kiss. "I won."

"What did you win?" he asks, and can't help grinning as he does it.

"This arguement, idiot. What have we been doing here? I got you to give. You're moving home."

In a soft but firm voice he tells her "No, I'm not. Not yet."

Maxie jumps back from him. Her eyes blaze with rage. Suddenly everything that was foggy, how they are in a parking lot outside of a dive bar, comes back into focus and Logan notices Sam, Max and Milo walking out of Jake's. 

"Go to hell!" Maxie screams at him. "You want me to chase you? Is that your game? Dream on. Never gonna happen! And I will not beg either. You want to hide then hide. I was trying to help you but obviously you don't need me!"

She spins around and storms towards Sam.

Logan calls out "Not everything is about you!"

"Now's who's the liar!" Maxie throws over her shoulder. 

XXXXXXXXXXX

She is going to make him lose his mind, Logan is sure of that. For the next two days and twenty some hours, she consumes his thoughts. He knows he should call and talk to her but he figures she'll show up at his place eventually.

He holds out as long as he can and then grabs his jacket, set on heading to Port Charles to track her down. Logan pulls open his door and Maxie is standing there.

"Jerk!" She pushes him in the chest and walks in.

"Hello to you too. Find the place, okay?"

"Shut up." She plops onto the couch and crosses her arms over her chest. Looking around his bachelor pad, which she is horrified to find is painted puke green and has Nascar posters on the wall, a dartboard, and Maxim magazines thrown about, she grimaces. "What is so great about this apartment? I don't see the appeal. Maybe you need to have your eyes checked."

"My eyes work fine, darlin." To prove his point, he does a check perusal of her body from head to toe.

She lets out a long angry sigh. "You gonna offer me a drink or what?"

"They don't have water in Port Charles anymore? You had to make the drive to get a glass?"

"Why are you so..."

"So what?"

"So you, Logan! So _you_." 

You means asshole, stubborn mule, pig and a thousand other derogatory things, he's sure. She's pissed right now but she'll get over it._ Because_, as terrifying as it sounds even just in his own head, _she wants to be with me._

And he's always wanted to be with her. Even in the moments when he hates her, he wants her. But its been a good long while since he's hated anything about her.

He grabs a chair from the kitchen area, which is only a foot from the living room area, and says "It's a curse of mine. Work around it."

For a long moment they stare at each other. Finally she hisses, "Apologize."

"For what?"

"For what you did. I won and you punked out."

"Wha? Nah, I didn't punk out of anything. And it wasn't a contest. You asked and I said no. No means no, Maxie."

"So you aren't going to apologize then? Un freaking believable. You got some gall."

"Yeah, I know, its my best trait."

"It's painfully obvious why you have no friends."

"I have a friend. I have you." That line manages to calm her down enough that Logan can move next to her on the couch. He adds "I wasn't playing a game with you. The next time we sleep together it won't be so I can win something or so you can win something. I'm done betting on us."

"What makes you think we're ever sleeping together again?" she asks, though she wears a teasing grin when she does it.

"Oh, we are so sleeping together again."

"You dream big, Hayes."

He leans toward her. She leans back. He reaches out and grabs the armrest behind her on the couch. "You know what they say, Jones, go big or go home."

His lips move towards her but she pushes him away. "Stop being such a horny bastard."

"You know you wanted to kiss me just now."

She stands up, adjusting her skirt, and looks over her shoulder at him. "If I wanted to kiss you, I'd be kissing you." Maxie heads to the kitchen, opens the fridge and grabs a bottle of water. "It will be a cold day in hell before my lips ever touch yours again."

"I heard Hell froze over last night."

She walks back into the room to see him smiling at her as he gets up and picks up his jacket.

Logan asks "So what do you want to do? Hit a bar? There's one on the corner. Though I'm sort of banned from there. But the one three blocks over still lets me in."

"As if I want to hang out with you."

"Oh, my mistake. It was the driving two towns over that confused me."

"I was bored. And besides I thought I was gonna get an apology. Should have known you'd turn into a welcher, Logan."

"We never made a bet. I'm done betting. I'll come back to Port Charles when I'm good and ready and not a second before."

That's the last thing she wants to hear. What if he is never ready? How can he stand there and tell her no? Her eyes stare him down, flicking with equal parts anger and disappointment.

_(So why you gotta stand there  
looking like the answer now?_

_  
It seems to me _

_you'd come around._

_  
I need you now!_

_  
Do you think you can cope?_

_  
You figured me out._

_I'm lost and I'm hopeless,  
bleeding and broken._

_Though I've never spoken  
I come undone - in this mad season_) ( Matchbox Twenty)

Maxie headed for the door. Logan jogged over and blocked her way. He asked "What are the chances you could be like 5 percent less stubborn tonight?"

"You're stubborn. I'm bossy. And no chance _at all_ until you stop hiding from Big Bad Scotty Baldwin."

"All right, bossy, lets shelve this for now." He picks her up and flips her over his shoulder. Her short little shirt rides up and he smacks her ass.

She starts laughing and demanding to be put down. He sets her on the couch and hands her the remote. "Pick anything not girly. No fashion, Maxie, and I mean it!" Logan sits down next to her. "Looks like we're staying in tonight. With the mood you're in, we'd surely be arrested if we went out anyway."

Maxie turned the tv.

XXXXXXXXX

Sitting there watching repeats of Real World with him wasn't anything amazing. But for Maxie it felt comfortable. And that was something she didn't have for even one moment, after Cooper died, before running into Logan at Pete's Diner. She had faked normal for months and only when she got back around Logan did she start to truly feel it again.

But there was no way she was kissing him.

Not if he had no plans on moving back to Port Charles. This time around Maxie wanted to know she could count on Logan, and if she couldn't, then she wasn't about to fall in his bed and pretend she didn't need more than sex from him. 

(_So are you gonna stand there?  
Are you gonna help me out?  
_

_You need to be together now._

_I need you now!_

_  
Do you think you can cope?_

_  
You figured me out._

_I'm lost and I'm hopeless,  
bleeding and broken._

_Though I've never spoken  
I come undone_

_in this mad season_)

There were plenty of guys she could use for one night of forgetting. Logan was now the only one she could turn to when she wanted to remember, but not talk about the memories.

One look in his eyes and her pain was cut in half.

He had loved Cooper, in his own way, and even if the love he gave was flawed and imperfect, it was real. And he understood how desperately she had loved Coop. Logan knew what made Maxie choose Coop. He knew just why Maxie had been counting on a future with Coop. He knew why Maxie didn't think her life meant as much as Georgie's. He knew why she didn't think she deserved her heart. Cause he didn't think he deserved to live either.

And all these things he knew about her, made him the only one she could turn to.

Maxie knew he was a bad risk. Logan was capable of wrecking any and everything he ever got his hands on. She didn't doubt that would change, maybe ever. But she didn't need him to change.

She just needed him to invest in her. To move home for her. To decide to be in this with her. Not love. Not marriage. Not perfect anything. She couldn't think in those terms.

She just needed Logan to commit to staying by her side. So she could keep feeling understood.

Maxie wanted to know he could step up for her.

Because if he couldn't, they would both surely drown. The sad thing was, she was sure, he knew this all already. 

_So why in the hell won't he come home_? she wonders._ Guess I'm just not good enough of a reason for him_.

That thought pisses her off enough to walk out on him. And if she didn't need him so bad, she would. But Maxie does need him, and she's not going anyway...and whether Logan knows it or not, she is not letting him get away again.

(_Now I'm crying._

_Isn't that what you want?_

_  
I'm trying to live my life on my own  
but I won't._

_  
At times,_

_I do believe I am strong._

_  
So someone tell me why, why, why?_

_  
Do I_

_I_

_I feel stupid?_

_  
And I came undone  
And I came undone..._

_I come undone in this mad season,_

in this mad season.

_  
There's been a mad season  
Been a mad season._)


	9. Chapter 9

_**Note-**_

_Still fumbling around with where this should all go. What would really help me is if you post the name of any song that you think fits _LoMax _in your comment. Songs really do inspire me. Or the dates of any really important Lomax scenes that are pivotal to understanding this pairing._

_**Undone in this Mad Season**_

_**Chapter Nine**_

For the next two nights Maxie hangs out in Rochester. They see a movie one night and the next they drink too many shots, and end the night by sharing a dance in a bar that's so crowded and loud they can't do anything more than press together in the dark. For the length of one song at nearly two am, they don't argue or annoy each other, they just slightly sway to the beat with her head resting on his shoulder.

Somehow he thinks its even better than kissing her. But not better than sex with her. That still tops his list.

When they were dancing she was soft. Softer than she had ever been before with him. Because before Cooper was alive, Georgie was still here...before she had much more of a safety net. Before she only _wanted _Logan. Now she_ needs_ him.

There's a difference in the two. He thinks that if they can figure out a way to meld both together, they just might have something. But right now they are still just figuring it out. They don't plan anything from day to day but he expects her to knock on his door each night and she expects him to be there when she does.

The third night she doesn't knock. At eleven he decides to call her. Even as he dials he silently berates himself for not just taking a cold shower and going to sleep, without worrying where the hell she was, without letting her roam around in his head all night long, through his thoughts and his dreams.

But he knows himself. He can't not call her. She can drive him crazy by not even trying. What she doesn't do affects him as much as what she does.

Maxie answers the phone, a smile in her voice, "Aw, are you lonely for me? Poor Logan all alone in his crappy little apartment."

_Well, she isn't dead_, he thinks, _That's good news. But she isn't here so what the hell is up with that, huh?_ "What are you doing?"

"Don't you mean why I am not at your place by now? I don't have to spend every night with you. I do have a life you know."

_A life? A life with someone who ain't me? Spinelli_, he thinks._ I'll kill him. That hacker is dead_!

"Yeah, I just bet you do," Logan tells her. "You painting your nails or what?"

"Taking inventory at the boutique actually but I could be at a bar getting wasted with Sam, if I wanted to. Driving out to Rochester is getting a little old anyway. All that traffic and smog on the expressway. Not fun."

"Like you could stay away."

"Don't dare me, cause I'll win that dare."

That would be the last thing he wanted to have happen. She might_ think _she needs him, but he _knows_ he needs her. He's known for longer than her that what's between then ain't ending anytime soon and by now he doesn't have even one doubt about what he wants with her. "Relax, Max, no one's daring you nothing. Just wanted to check in and make sure you didn't smash that already dented up car of yours into the wall on I-90. We both know you can't drive for shit."

"Watch it or else I'll make sure to crash the next time you're my passenger. That will teach you to insult me." She laughs and he can't help but smile.

Okay, it wasn't some sweet line filled with adoring words. He's heard those before and they never were true. Maxie's threats are the truth. Maxie's hunger is the truth. Maxie's soft sighs in his ear when they were dancing, that's the truth he cares about now.

"Such tough talk from such a small little girl."

"I'll have you know its damn hard to stay this tiny. Don't let the couture fool you. I pack a hell of a punch. Ask Little Lulu, she'll tell you."

Chuckling he says "Nah, I ain't talked to her in months and I'm trying to turn those months into years."

"Wow. That's the smartest thing you've ever said to me. Well, I got to get back to work. So if this just checking in session is over..."

"Bye."

"Try not to get in too much trouble, loser."

"I'll try, brat."

"I'm the sexiest brat you ever met."

"That you are," he said before hanging up.

Calling her had taken away the restless edge he had been riding all night, as he wondered what kept her away, but it didn't take her out of his mind enough for him to fall into a dreamless sleep. Nope, she was still there, crawling around his subconscious, with her devious eyes full of mischief and her dangerous smile full of lies.

He woke up smiling. He wasn't sure that had ever happened before. Even when he woke up holding some other gorgeous woman in his arms, he wasn't smiling before his eyes even opened.

Odd.

He looked at the empty space on the bed next to him. He wanted her there. They weren't dating, weren't even screwing around for the hell of it. They were just simply friends now.

He still wanted her in his bed. Last summer he had said who cares about the consequences and just taken her. Now he couldn't. Because now she was counting on more than one night.

She wanted him to be the man she needed. Logan just wasn't sure that was even possible. He had failed every single thing he ever tried to do- to be a good solider, a good son, a good best friend. Failing Maxie wasn't an option. Not this time around.

He crawled out of bed and headed for the shower, wanting her still, missing her still, and knowing he had to get over himself and get up the guts to go back to Port Charles. Back to the place where they didn't really work, back to all the people who thought so little of him, back to the real world.

He'd rather stay here in Rochester with just Maxie by his side. But that couldn't last forever. Not if he wanted to keep her this time. Not if he wanted her to believe in him, and know he was choosing her needs before his own.

Logan would have to go back home...and home was Maxie, he knew that in his bones. For once he had something he didn't have to doubt, he just knew it, like he knew his name and like he knew what the Texas sky looked like during a summer storm.

He used to _only _want her. Now he wants her and he _totally_ needs her. Now he can't let go, so he'll have to find a way to hang on.

XXXXXXXX

Maxie walks into Kelly's and orders a vanilla latte. She is just about to sit down and start flipping through Vogue magazine when Sam walks in.

Smiling, Sam greets her with "You little sneak! First you hook up with Logan behind my back then you have some hot lip lock session with him in Jake's parking lot then you disappear for days and I don't see or hear a thing from you. Why are you holding out on me?"

Sam sits down. Mike comes over and takes her order for a large coffee and bowl of chili.

Since Maxie never answered her, Sam snaps "Stop sitting there smiling and talk to me! Are you screwing Logan again or what?"

"Shhh. Mike already thinks I'm some kind of slut because of Lulu and all her bitching at me about sleeping with her brother and boyfriend and last week she even tried to run me over, I swear it! Just because I was talking to Spinelli outside. She's lucky she didn't make me drop my purse cause if my Louie Vuitton had hit the mud I'd be chasing that wench down."

"You are so avoiding the subject. You never do that with me. What's the deal? You can tell me about hitting on Lucky last month, knowing how I feel about him, and you can tell me about your one nighter with the hot doctor but you can't tell me about Logan." A slow smile curved her lips. "Just how deep are you in this?"

"No deeper than I was when I made a sex bet with him."

"You're sunk then."

"Why?"

"Because you made that bet knowing it would sabotage your whole world. You didn't give a damn though. Cause he was just too tempting to resist. He was a flame but you wanted to get burned. That whole thing with him though...it all went to hell, in case you forgot. Don't tell me you think it would end any different this time?"

Seeing the look on Maxie's face, all hopeful and vulnerable, Sam lets out a long breath. If Maxie is looking like that, its worse than she thought. Sam has nothing against Logan, she barely knows him, but what she does know is how it feels to be without an anchor, like she was after she left Jason, and looking for anyone to grab onto. She hopes Maxie isn't grabbing onto the wrong lifeline.

Sam adds "Oh, girl, be careful. That's all I'm saying."

"Don't worry about it. Cause if he stays in Rochester then he's not anybody I can be with, not ever. Yeah, I'll still hang out with him," she shrugs as if it is no big deal that she can no longer imagine not seeing him at least every few days "but I won't let it go any further. I need a man. Not a little boy afraid of facing his Daddy."

"You know I hope Logan turns out to be all you want him to be. But what worries me is...I think you know who he is, and you know he's gonna break your heart, but you can't stop yourself. I've been there before and take my word for it, it never ends pretty."

Maxie takes a sip of her drink then answers "Well, maybe this time it won't end at all."

"Oh my God."

Maxie laughs. "Stop overreacting! I'm not saying I'm madly in love with him but not all things have to end...do they?" Her voice is unsure. She's lost almost everyone she's ever loved besides Mac, yet she's a fighter and she wants to open her heart up again and let more people in. Maxie knows it's a risk, she just can't see living any other way. To retreat within herself isn't an option she's ever considered. She wants someone to hold on to. She wants Logan more than is even healthy but she doesn't care, and she won't apologize for it. "Just cause everything always seems to end for me...doesn't mean it will always be that way. Look at me and you. We could be friends till we are both tottering around in orthopedic heels. And I could know Spinelli till he's a white haired winner of the No Bells Peace prize or whatever they call that. It could happen! Just cause I lost Jesse, Coop and Georgie ...don't mean I have to lose again. I might just win this time. I'm feeling lucky. What the hell? Might as well roll the dice, right?"

Knowing that she would do whatever she wanted to either way, Sam says "Why not, I guess. Its not like either of us can go very long without taking a huge risk that might just break us anyway."

"Exactly. So why blow that streak now? Its what makes me the most interesting person in this town."

"You've crowned yourself with that title, huh?" Sam asks

"Of course! I can't let Little Lulu be the only pretty, pretty princess around, now can I?" she jokes.

Just then Lulu walked in the doors. Maxie and Sam spotted her and busted out laughing. She screwed her face up in a grimace and asked "What's so damn funny? Were you talking about me?"

"Don't you wish you were interesting enough to warrant a place in our conversation," Maxie said."Come on, Sam, lets get out of here. I'm sure its about to get crowded around here once her harem shows up. How many do you have now, Lulu? Four? Five guys hanging on a string? There's a word for that, right? What is it?"

"Its called having good friends. Being a nice person."

"No, that's not it," Maxie stands up. "Hmm, its right on the tip of my tongue. T...tease! That's it."

"You're such a bitch!"

"And don't you ever forget it," Maxie tells her with a smile.

"I want you to stay out of my family's diner. You aren't welcome here anymore."

"That's cute. You think you can tell me where to go and what to do. Gonna run me down if I don't? Don't think I don't know you swerved toward me the other day."

"Please. You're imagining things."

"It won't be imaginary when I slap that stupid smirk off your face. You try and turn Spinelli against me again and its gonna happen," Maxie said.

Logan walks in. All three women turn to look at him.

He said "Don't stop fighting on my account. I could hear you outside. I think it was your turn, Lulu."

But she doesn't continue to argue with Maxie, instead she said in a soft, amazed voice "You're back." She flashed him a smile, the same one that made men fall for her in an instant, the same one that made Maxie sick to her stomach.

Maxie lets out a loud sigh. The last thing she planned to do was compete with Lulu for Logan's attention. It was beneath her and she's not planning to stoop that low this time.

She pushes past Logan and heads outside. As she passes by him she throws out, in a bitter, disgusted tone, "Enjoy your reunion."


	10. Chapter 10

_Undone in this Mad Season_

_Chapter Ten_

Logan walks into Kelly's diner on a hunt for a blonde that drives him crazy with her snarky mouth and eyes full of crazy schemes and lies. He finds her and also the woman he was hoping to never have to deal with again. They're snapping back and forth at each other, but that's nothing new. If these two ever say a nice word to each other the sun might fall right out of the sky in shock.

"Don't stop fighting on my account. I could hear you outside. I think it was your turn, Lulu."

"You're back," says Lulu, in her soft awed tone that's familiar to him. It might be an act or might be real, Logan never could figure that out before and he doesn't have any reason to bother trying to now.

Her eyes are wide and gentle. He would have fallen in to them, if this was last fall, and hoped she was the answer. Now he knows, without a doubt, she never was. Lulu was a place to hide for him, and a very painful one at that. Not the sanctuary he was seeking. Not the woman he wants to chase after now.

That woman is burning holes into him with her eyes. Maxie stomps toward him and hisses "Enjoy your reunion." And then she's gone from Kelly's diner, leaving Logan, Sam and Lulu in a stunned silence.

Sam says "Well, you're just as popular as ever, Hayes."

"I try, doll. I try." He turns to follow Maxie out the door.

Lulu says "We should catch up."

Logan throws over his shoulder "Nah, that's alright. Its been three months. Ain't that much changed."

Looking around outside, he decides to head to the nearby docks. It's a spot that draws the lonely and the heartsick. Maxie is neither but it could be a good spot to fume, which she definitely was doing when she left the diner. Logan couldn't remember a time that Lulu and Maxie had been in the same room and didn't act like they wanted to rip each other's hair out. The rivalry they share certainly pre-dated his time in town. Thank God. He don't need another thing for Maxie to blame on him.

He's not sure if she forgives him for hurting Cooper. He doesn't forgive himself, he knows that. If him and Coop had gotten close again, maybe it would have all been water under the bridge by now. But things stayed tense between them up to his last moment on earth. Logan knew why. They were both crazy about the same woman, and both knew it. There really was no way to get past that. Logan had thrown himself into things with Lulu, partly just to prove to _himself_ and Cooper that Maxie still wasn't who he wanted. But Coop could see the truth in Logan even when all Logan gave him was lie after lie.

And the truth was unforgivable.

He finds Maxie staring at the water. Expecting her to snap at him, he sneaks up behind her and says "Truce?"

But she's not angry anymore. Now she's quiet, too quiet. When this woman is this quiet, the world is caving in.

"Max?"

She looks at him. Her eyes wide and bright. Not quite teary yet but working on it, and swimming with unending grief. Logan was never a hero for any woman before but in that moment he would give anything to be one to her, to be able to take away all that has hurt her. But he can't. It doesn't work that way.

She says "Why does Lulu get to be alive when Georgie is dead? Why do I? Why do you? We're all here...doing the same kind of stupid shit we've been doing all our lives...screwing up everything...acting out...and if she was here she wouldn't do any of that. I hated Lulu before cause she's so freaking self righteous but now I can't even look at her without losing it! And I can't look at the girls at PCU or the ones who come in the boutique who are eighteen and vapid...everything I was...I still am...everything Georgie was better than. Tell me how that's fair, Logan? It's not! And that is the thing that I hate most. It is never gonna be fair. I tell myself I can beat the system. I can win and I can finally stop watching everyone I've ever ever ever love die or leave me. But then I see her...I see Lulu who walks around like a star of this town when she's no better than me or you but everyone will always praise her and hate us... and I think...no. Life is gonna keep taking...and taking...and taking from me. I know that."

Anyone else would have told her that's not true. But he wasn't like that. He didn't offer sweet platitudes he knew were lies. "Yeah, it probably will. From both of us. And that's why...you ever get the chance for something great...a job in Paris...a chance to rob a bank and get away with it...something big, something crazy...you go ahead and take. Take whatever you can from this life cause its damn well taken enough from you."

She gives him a sad smile. "Do not become a shrink. You'd so get arrested for giving out advice like that."

"I never was any good at advice. If I knew how to fix anything, I wouldn't be the wreck I am."

"And you are a wreck," she said with a sad smile.

He'd like to brush the single tear off her cheek with the pad of his thumb. If she was some other woman, someone he was working in a bar or someone he was trying hard to love instead of just... crazy over despite it all...he would have done just that. But its not as easy to be gentle with her. Its not that he doesn't feel protective of Maxie, its that she would see such a gesture for what it was. An admission of love. And Logan isn't quite ready to go there yet.

The thought of that, really going for all that with her, sets his bones shaking. Still, the thought of walking away sucks the air out of his world. He's staying. He just don't know how to do this...do it right this time. What has he ever done right in his life?

He can't think of anything in that moment. So instead of wiping away her tears, pulling her close into a hug, and promising he'd make it all better- instead of being Cooper who he loved but who he simply is not- he just gives her a crooked grin and takes a step back.

She lets out a cleansing breath. "So, what are you doing here? And in the light of day, too." She mocks him in a feigned terrified tone "What if Big Bad Scott sees you?"

"Ha ha. I'll risk it."

"For me?" And like a light bulb coming on the sadness is replaced by lightness once more, a sultry teasing in her voice. "Like a moth to a flame, huh? I keep drawing you back."

"You think a lot of yourself."

"Of course I do. Look at me. Why wouldn't I?" Her mouth curves into a smile, her eyes have only a hint of despair now...the little part that was there long before she even lost Jesse, the part that never leaves. Logan didn't know her back then, but he didn't have to in order to know there's always been slight traces of loss buried in her pretty babydoll blue eyes.

Rolling his eyes, he just laughs at her. They stand there under the warm May sun just quiet for once. Quiet and right.

(_You've got your ball  
you've got your chain  
tied to me_

_tight tie me up again._

_  
Who's got their claws  
in you, my friend?_

_  
Into your heart I'll beat again_) ( Dave Matthews Band)

For a minute they simply look at each other. And both wonder if its right they feel like this...lighter when they are together, high without any drugs...because the only way they got this moment, this day, this chance to be anything at all to each other again was because Cooper had died.

There have both had brief flashes, incoherent ramblings in their dark minds, over the last few months when both thought about dying themselves. Driving past trees became dangerous because each one was a weapon to smash the car into, every bridge crossed one to jump off of.

He decided first to live. Because then he could keep an eye on her. She decided to go crazy in Jake's bar until she felt capable of coping again or until she was too destroyed to care at all anymore. Then she saw him on the street in front of Pete's Diner. She decided to live again- to keep an eye on him, and because if he was still around, she was not really alone after all.

If they are going to go on living though, they somehow have to jump past the valley of guilt that surrounds each of them. The voice in their head that says _You don't deserve any air. He deserved it more. _

Maybe he did. Maybe they are disgracing his memory by wanting each other. Maybe this will be another sin they rack up. Lust. Greedy need._ Love._ Only for them could love be so sinful.

He can't let himself care now what Coop would think. He can't walk away from her this time. He tried twice, in the fall and in the winter, and he won't go for that third strike.

She can't stop caring what Coop thinks. But she also can't stop inching closer and closer to Logan, pulling him closer and closer to her, with her visits to his place, and her attempts to get him to move back here. She knew it the moment she saw him on the street last week_. He's mine_, she thought now and then. _Mine. Mine. Mine_.

And for that...she will not apologize.

(..._Tied up and twisted  
the way I'd like to be._

_  
For you, for me, _

_come _

_crash  
into me_) ( Dave Matthews Band)


	11. Chapter 11

_**Thanks for reading and reviewing. And leaving all the song choices in the comments. It really does help inspire me.**_

_**Undone in this Mad Season**_

_**Chapter Eleven**_

Logan has come back to Maxie's side again. Chased her down like she used to chase him. Caught her like she caught him.

He couldn't stay away if he tried. He's over trying to though.

(_All my days and all my nights and  
every hour is devoured_

_as the dawning strokes its morning  
I'll be wanting._

_I'll be  
pushing to pull_

_me  
closer to you, dear_) ( Maxwell)

XXXXXXXX

Standing on the docks, as the sun starts to fall out of the sky, Maxie asks Logan "So, what are you doing here? And in the light of day, too. What if Big Bad Scott sees you?"

"Ha ha. I'll risk it."

"For me? Like a moth to a flame, huh? I keep drawing you back."

(_Deeper than gravity  
is how I must be near._

_  
I'll be hunting,_

_as the moments drip like water,  
I'll be patient for my slaughter_.)

"You think a lot of yourself."

"Of course I do. Look at me." She flashes him a smile, then winks. "Why wouldn't I?"

She longs to pepper him with more questions._ When are you moving back? Did it affect you to see Lulu? Do you see her for what she is now? Or still see in her what you wanted her to be?_

But Maxie doesn't ask Logan any of that. To drown him in her questions would be akin to laying all her fears and desires at his feet...laying them before him to trample. She wonders if he would do that this time.

He's not gentle or kind. She can't just trust him to be perfect, to be safe. But what he is- someone who gets her without her having to say a word- is just too good to let go of now. She told herself last fall to run...run from him and how he made her feel out of control...run from the heat...run back to Coop and be glad to have his arms to fall into. Last year Logan and Maxie were like a runaway train, their crazy lust out of control, leaving them both in shambles- just like they had wanted to end up all along. Shambles used to feel just right.

After losing Georgie and Cooper, it doesn't anymore. Maxie knows what it is like to stop falling toward the bottom and finally land on it with a splat. She loves playing with fire but she is no longer looking to be burned alive just to prove she can survive it.

She can. She has. She wants something more now.

(_As the dawning slays the evening  
I'll be waiting._

_I'll be  
pushing to pull_

_me  
closer to you, dear_.)

XXXXXXXXX

Logan's eyes work their way up and down her body, right after she tells him _Look at me_.

He's always thought she is blow your mind gorgeous. She can be ice water and lava at the same time. What other woman ever pulls that off?

No one that he knows.

But it's never been her body alone that drives him wild. He's been with more hot broads than he could even count. None of them make him feel half as alive as Maxie can though. Because Maxie has a comeback for everything. Her mind works at a million miles an hour, always plotting and deciphering everything into truths and lies, schemes and scandals. Always looking for the angle. Logan can't pull anything over on her. He can't con her and get away with it. He has tried lying to her but she's never really bought even one of his lies.

Logan figures he might as well try some truth, instead. Hell, it just might get them somewhere. "No man with eyes would ever turn you down, Max."

"_You'd_ never turn me down." She throws the line out like a challenge, but he knows she is actually asking for a promise. And this time it is one he wants to make and keep.

Giving her a crooked grin, he steps a little closer, and agrees "Nah. Guess if I ever get married you better not come knocking on my door. You'd blow my whole world apart."

"You ever marry Lulu and you can count on hearing that knock. I'd be doing you a hell of a favor."

He whispers, his words deep and soft, "I couldn't ever marry that chick."

"Hmm. Why not? You followed her around like a pathetic little puppy dog for months. Beautiful, sought after, fake as the day is long Little Lulu. Your ideal, right?"

"At one time, yeah, I would have said she was. She's not the chick for me though and that's lucky," Logan pauses, his hand brushes against hers and then pulls back slightly. She surprises him by reaching out and grabbing his hand.

Logan goes on, "Because I only have one friend left in this world...and I can't be having my girl hating my only friend. I'd have to dump her ass for sure over that. Just on the grounds of having freaking bad taste."

Maxie laughs.

Logan chuckles as his chest fills with warmth. He drove all the way from Rochester, a thirty minute drive when the traffic is light, just to hear the sound of her laugh. But he got off easy today cause he would have flown to the other side of the world to hear it.

For this man, rarely is there anything bright or shiny in his life. But when she's happy...there is light. He's addicted to that light right now.

(_And though your taste,_

_I'm stalking._

_  
And though you know,_

_I'm haunting._

_  
You still ignore my atmosphere on you babe,  
on you babe._

_  
And all my days andall my nights and  
every hour is devoured_.)

He's absolutely hooked on just standing next to her. He always thought if he felt this way he'd be scared to death: scared to lose her, scared to keep her, scared like he was with Lulu, scared like he was over Coop. But he's not scared with Maxie.

Maybe that's because he knows, somewhere deep inside himself, she's not walking away anytime soon.

He might only have her by default but he don't give a damn. He has her. He risked the most important friendship of his life just to know what it was like to kiss her, then ruined that same friendship by taking her to his bed. He's already lost it all over her. Lost his mind over her. Lost all his good sense. Lost her to another guy. Lost his shot and got it back again.

And even if he knows it makes him a nothing but a cold hearted bastard for thinking so, he can't say he wouldn't do the same again. Hurt Coop and try to steal his girl. She was just too good to resist. And she still is.

XXXXXXXXXXX

All Maxie's nerve endings came to life when his hand brushed against hers. Like being hit with sparks from a downed electrical line, she felt jolted. When Logan immediately took his hand back she moved on instinct and captured his hand in hers.

A secret smile curved her lips then, as she thought how before it as never this man who she wanted to be normal with-holding hands on the docks. She wanted to be out of her mind with him. Naked and raw. Exposed. Controlling. Controlled.

Its not like she still doesn't want that. But not at the risk of this. Its like she can't just settle anymore for hot sex then hating him for not being a better man. She can finally see him as more than someone to mold to suit her needs, or someone to bruise when she's in pain. He's her lifeline in a town where everyone needs someone to hang onto.

So when he says he'd throw over Lulu, or any other woman, if she didn't want Maxie in his life, she totally loves it. There's her proof. At least for right now he is choosing her over everyone else.

Maybe Logan is even smarter than she ever thought. Cause he gets what she does, they need to stick together in this crazy ass world. It's the best way to survive.

XXXXXXXXXX

After a long moment of just smirking at each other, he asks "So how long you planning on standing out here just watching the sun fall down? Seems kinda like a waste to me. It does the same thing every night, you know."

"I wasn't watching the sunset. I was plotting ways to kill your ex. I've come up with one hundred and ninety two but none that wouldn't point right back to me. Don't worry though. I'm not about to give up yet."

"You give up? Ha. There's nothing more dangerous than Maxie Jones _determined_."

"And don't you forget it."

"If I ever did you'd beat it right back into me, I'm sure."

"Count on it."

He was.

(_As the dawning strokes the morning  
I'll be wanting  
I'll be hunting._

_  
Pull me  
I'll be watching._

_  
Pull me  
I'll be wanting._

_  
Pull me  
I'll be loving._

_  
Pull me  
I'll be nothing_)

XXXXXXXXX

**THE NEXT DAY**

Logan cuts up vegetables for a salad. There was a chicken in the oven for dinner. Maxie said she'd stop by around seven and it was about five after already.

_Probably some kind of freaking fashion emergency_, he thinks. Like he cares what shoes go with what purse or whatever it is she worries about. The only women's clothes he gave a damn about are bras and panties and then only for about a minute when he was trying to slide them off.

He wonders if Maxie is gonna let him slide hers off anytime soon.

_Knock. _

_Knock._

"Just barge right in like you always do!" he calls out, already smiling at the thought of seeing her.

The door opens and in walks Scott Baldwin. "Uh, hiya, kid. How you been?"

Logan's jaw twitches as he presses his lips together, and groans slightly. His traitorous father has come for a visit.

The only man he loves on earth now, since Cooper is gone, and the only one he truly can not stand to look at anymore. The one he waited all his life to find, the one who only disappoints him, and the one he can only ever disappoint.

This is a meeting he has been dreading, a meeting he was seriously thinking about never even having.

He bores holes in his father with his eyes, and if looks really could murder, Scott would be a corpse right now.


	12. Chapter 12

**Language Warning for this chapter.** **Also this chapter works best when read with the next chapter so they are being posted together today.**

_**Undone in this Mad Season**_

_**Chapter Twelve.**_

Logan glances at the clock as he cooks dinner. Maxie is already five minutes late. Each minute makes him more hungry for her. Need claws at his insides and the only cure is seeing her again. She shouldn't keep him waiting. Its not a good thing for his health.

_Knock. _

_Knock._

"Just barge right in like you always do!" he calls out, already smiling at the thought of seeing her.

The door opens and in walks Scott Baldwin. "Uh, hiya, kid. How you been?" Looking all around at the horrible decor and peeling paint he says "Nice pad. Just like mine back in college...sort of, um...so...I know you didn't expect to see me here."

"No, Pops. Never thought you'd darken my door." Not in a million years. And there was only one person to blame for him showing up like this.

Logan should have known better than to tell Maxie no when she asked him to move back to Port Charles. He knew she didn't like that answer but he didn't realize she would plot to sabotage his life in Rochester.

_If only she got me fired or kicked out of my apartment_, he thinks to himself,_ but this...this is hitting below the belt_. _Damn it, Maxie, what the hell_?

"Listen, Logan...son, listen...I know you're holding a grudge about me thinking you were the Text Message Killer but what you got to understand is...no matter if you were or not ...I had your back. Cause I'm your father. I...I love..."

"Don't you dare!"

"Fine. But me not saying it don't change anything. You are my son and there's no other way I can feel about you. You're a part of me...why are you hiding out here in this dump when you got family in Port Charles?"

"You said you liked this dump a minute ago."

"Yeah, yeah...but you can have better. I could hook you up with a good job ...the cadet program is always looking for recruits, your grandfather needs interns at his law firm, or Lucy could put you on her staff at Deception. Wouldn't you like that? Be a big time executive?"

"I don't know who the hell Lucy is."

"She's my ex...the mother of your sisters. She's been bugging me about meeting you and her company always has openings. You could get a job there easily."

_And there it is_, Logan thinks, _the bait. Your sisters. Lucy. Your grandfather. Its like he is saying, I'll let you in. Just dangles it in front of me thinking I can't resist._

It pisses Logan off that only now does Scott think to make the offer. Only when it is all he has left to bargain with.

"Doing what? Its not like I have real skills, right? I'm not a hot shot lawyer like you."

"Who cares what. It's a fortune 500 company. Think of the benefits. Don't pass up a good opportunity out of spite."

"I don't even know what a Deception company is. What do they sell? Lies for a dollar a pop? Alibis? They cover for cheating spouses?"

"Nah, they hawk perfume. Lucy founded the company about 15 years back. She sold it but recently bought it back. Let me give you her number."

"Save it. I'm not interested in selling perfume, being a cop, or a freaking shyster lawyer. I have a decent job in construction. I know that wouldn't impress you but I'm doing fine. So if you wouldn't mind taking off, I had plans tonight and you ain't a part of them."

"Your plans with Maxie? She's not coming."

His blood boils when he hears this."Great. Isn't that just great?"

The smoke alarm went off. They hurried to the kitchen to find the oven smoking. Logan turned it off and pulled out the burnt chicken.

"Who taught you to cook, kid? That supposed to be Cajun?"

"Get lost. You're not funny."

"Ah, you don't have no sense of humor." The smoke alarm kept blaring."Do something about that racket, why don't you?"

"You don't like it then you can leave."

Scott ignored that and instead climbed on a chair to disconnect the alarm.

Logan snarked "Don't fall and break a hip, old man."

Slowly, Scott climbed down. Logan walked into the living room and opened the door. "You're done here."

Scott's mouth dropped. "Aw, come on. Don't do that."

"I'm serious. Get the hell out! You thought I was a killer. You thought I squeezed the life out of how many women? A bunch of strangers and chicks I only met once and Maxie's own sister, too. She was just a college kid! Georgie was a nice, sweet girl. Her death... nearly broke Maxie. And you thought that was me. I know I'm a bastard and now, after looking at you, I know where I get it from. I want you OUT! Now."

His father walked out into the hall and then turned around. "I'll be back. You can't kick me out of your life cause I'm more stubborn than you are and I'm not going nowhere. Plus I'm your father and I said you can't. That means something whether you like it or not."

"Or not," Logan said, and then slammed the door in his face. He leaned against it, breathing hard, curse words shooting through his mind. _Damn, damn, damn...why did you do that to me, Maxie_?

XXXXXX

**40 minutes later**

Maxie sits on her bed painting her toe nails. She hears the phone ring and jumps up. Feeling woozy, she nearly faints. Maxie sits back down on her bed.

Her hand covers her heart. It beat steadily_. I guess_, she thinks, _I just didn't eat enough today_.

After checking her phone and seeing it was Spinelli, she decides to call him back later. Slowly, she

makes her way down to the fridge and opens it up. The calendar on the door catches her eye. For a long moment she looks at the X's Mac has made and then counts.

Eleven days. Late. _No, it can't be_, she thinks_._

By the time the doorbell rings she is nearly hyper ventilating. She takes in a deep breath and then goes to answer it, wearing a fake smile.

Logan storms inside and, before he even turns to face her, starts ranting "How could you? What in the fuck were you thinking? Scott! You knew I didn't want to see him. But you just had to butt in, didn't you? Didn't you, Max? Think you know everything about everything and everyone. Just stay out of it."

As soon as he looks at her, she gives him a hard push in the chest. "Shut the hell up and stop your whining about Daddy! Can't you see I'm freaking out here? Oh my God. I don't know what I am gonna do. I'm totally screwed."

"If this is some scam to distract me it will not work."

"A scam? Don't I freaking wish! I'm knocked up, you moron."


	13. Chapter 13

_**Undone in this Mad Season**_

_**Chapter Thirteen**_. T**his chapter works best when read with the last chapter so they are being posted together today. Thanks for taking the time to read my LoMax story. **

"_What?_"

It is only after the word comes out that Logan realizes he screamed it at the top of his lungs. This reaction causes Maxie to cover her face with her hands. "Oh, shit."

He lets out a slow breath. "Okay, okay, talk to me. How can you be knocked up?"

"How in the hell do you think? The normal way. I slept with my cousin's boyfriend. Fiancee. Baby daddy. Oh God, I'm gonna be sick."

Thank God, she's not literally about to throw up, because Logan might just join her if she did. He already feels weak. And he has just decided he hates her cousin's fiancee, whoever the hell that is. "What's wrong with this asshole? Why would he cheat on your cousin like that?"

"Oh, he's not a saint like you, Logan. Just a normal horny guy," she sneers.

"Does he know you're carrying his baby?"

Logan is glad he didn't bring his gun today because if he did than this dude would be dead. No one got to mess around with Maxie, not anymore. Cooper wasn't here to watch out for her but Logan could. He swore, in that moment, he would do that from now on. Not leave her feeling so alone she ends up in the bed of a guy who obviously could careless about her.

"I don't even know if I'm carrying his baby!" Maxie cried. "I need a test. You've got to go buy me one." She starts to push him toward the door. "Go. Go. Right now. Bring back the fastest one they got. I need to know now."

"Wha? I don't know anything about buying that stuff. Maxie, come on. I'll drive you there."

"No! I can't go out like this. I look like hell. Just go buy the damn test, Logan. And quick. I'm losing my mind here. If I had to be knocked up by anybody this is the last guy in the world it should be. Robin will kill me. She'll disown me. _Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God._"

Logan, who has been pushed already to the door now, stops and touches her arm. He bends slightly so he can look in her eyes. "We're gonna figure this out, all right? Just stop freaking cause we don't know anything yet."

"How much do you wanna bet I'm pregnant? That would be just my luck."

"We're not betting anymore, remember? Its nothing but trouble."

"Don't you mean _I'm _nothing but trouble?"

"You're hot trouble though."

With a small smile she pushes him again. "Go!"

"Stay calm! Damn, you are getting me worked up now too and I was already half crazed when I came over here. That wasn't cool, that stunt you pulled siccing Scott on me."

"You're welcome."

"Did I say thank you?"

"If you don't go..."

"I'm going, Max. I'm going. Just relax. Whatever happens..."

"What?"

"You can get through this, okay? You're the strongest chick in this town and you know it."

She just stares in his eyes, not able to believe him but desperate to anyway. "Go."

XXXXXXXXXX

They sit on the floor of the bathroom together as the wait for the test to work.

"Negative," she chants "Come on, negative."

"What did you say this asshole's name was?"

"Forget about it. There's no way I'm telling you a thing about him. You'll kick his ass before the test even tells us if you have a reason to or not."

"Oh, I have a reason to all right. He's cheating on your cousin."

She smiles slightly, and shakes her head. "You can't even remember my cousin's name."

"Robin. As in _Robin will kill me. _Now who Robin should really kill is this prick who sleeps with chicks without condoms."

"We used protection. But I'm still late and what else could that mean? But I can't be...I can't cause I can't deal with Robin thinking I'm scum and Mac...God, the look on his face when he finds out. Just when he thinks I can't possibly do anything worse than I already have, I do this. It was just once, you know. One night. One bad night when no one else was around..."

He knows he should have been there for her. But of course he hadn't been up for the challenge of balancing her grief and his at one time.

She stares into his eyes, and he watches as the tears start to stream right out of hers. She starts shaking. "I can't do this. I can't face them. I can't be this girl...this messed up girl who does things like this...I'm supposed to be in their wedding! For the rest of my life everyone will look at me like they did when I was messing around with Lucky a few years back...as that scuzzy skank Maxie Jones. And the worst part is Robin...she's the closest thing I have to a sister left...she'll never forgive this. She's not like Georgie. She can't forgive everything and love me anyway. She has all these standards and rules and stuff and she will not get this! I can't bring a baby into a mess like this...why did it have to be him? Why? He doesn't even like me, Logan."

She really starts to sob. He wraps his arms around her. "Shh. Please. Don't cry. You're killing me here, Max. If I got to watch you cry, it should at least be over something I did, not some asshole who is gonna die just as soon as I catch up with him."

"You got to help me. Help me, please," Her eyes are wide and pleading. He thinks he would agree to anything but he isn't prepared for her saying, "Pretend to be this baby's father."

"You're talking crazy now."

"Seriously, it could work. People would believe we were together. Patrick won't push the issue cause its not like he would really want to ever admit to being with me. Only Sam knows. She wouldn't rat us out. Logan, I need you to do this for me."

"It won't work. We'll probably be caught."

"But you'll try?"

He knows the next words out of his mouth should be _Hell no. _But instead he whispers, with his mouth mere inches from hers, "Yeah, all right, I'll back you up."

She leans her forehead against his. With relief in her voice she whispers, "Okay. Okay."

He knows she wants to think that as long as she isn't alone in this, it will all be fine. She needs a hand to hold and he's there. He could tell himself that if someone else was around, she'd ask him. But the truth is she would find Logan to pull into this scam. Cause he doesn't have all those pesky morals that would make him do the right thing. His right thing is what gets him want he wants, just like hers.

_Ding._

The timer goes off. Maxie moves out of his arms. They both stand up. She says "I can't look. You do it."

Logan picks up the test. _Time to find out if I'm an instant dad, _he thinks. He looks at the test and then at her.

"What?" she asks "What does it say? Tell me!"

"You're not pregnant. At least if you believe this plastic stick."

She lets out a huge breath and sits down on the tub. "Good."

He isn't as relieved as her. It might be pathetic, and as much as he never wants her to give birth to her cousin's boyfriend's kid, he did like the idea, just a little bit, of them sharing such a big secret. He could have been the only one she leaned on, the only one she let help her get through. Just once he would like to do that.

"Don't sleep with that asshole again, if he lives through his beating that is."

"Leave him alone, Logan."

"No can do."

"You'll just end up locked up and with broken knuckles. Rap sheets aren't as sexy as you think."

Maxie stands up and takes one step, so she is nearly touching him. "I guess I'm just stressed out and maybe that's why I'm late. I hope that's all it is at least...would you really have gone through with it? Lied to everyone about being the father?"

"Why not? Got nothing else planned for the next eighteen years."

"Yeah, well, what would happen three years from now? When you got bored or you found your next Lulu? Tough luck for me and your fake baby Hayes, huh?"

"I don't walk away from my kids, Maxie. Never. I said I would stand by you and that's what I would do. As much as we both mess up, we know better than to mess our kids up too. We both seen how that works out, up close and personal, right? So if you didn't get sick of me or guilty and tell Robin everything, then it would have been me and you and our little troublemaker Hayes...till prison do us part."

"So freaking romantic. I think I'm gonna swoon."

He laughs but the sound is muffled by her lips connecting with his. Her hands bury themselves in his hair, gripping tightly and deepening the kiss.

When she pulls away, he asks "What was that for?"

"My way to say thank you. Don't go thinking it means I'm in love with you or anything."

She grabs the pregnancy test and the box, then turns and heads out of the room. Grinning, he watches her ass as she walks away and thinks _Yeah, I'm not in love with you right back. Sure, I'm not. Sure._


	14. Chapter 14

**Undone in this Mad Season**

**Chapter Fourteen**

"Don't think I forgot the stunt you pulled," Logan said as he followed Maxie into her kitchen.

She poured some drinks for them and purposely ignored what he had said.

He crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned against the counter. "Don't you ever try and fix my relationship with my father again. Keep your nose out of it, where it belongs."

Maxie passed him a glass.

Logan leaned close to her, doing his best to keep his expression stern but her eyes danced with amusement and made it near impossible for him to stay angry. "Understand?"

"Get over yourself, why don't you? You think you can command me to do anything and that's gonna work?" She laughed. "Its your own fault that I sent him there. You needed a kick in the ass so you would talk to him again."

"How would you feel if I went out and found Frisco. Then sent him here to knock on your door?"

"You don't know a thing about Frisco. Don't even try and compare the two. Your dad didn't even know you were born. Mine held me. Had the chance to love me and then found something better to do. He's not gonna knock on my door like Scott knocked on yours and do you want to know why? He don't give a damn. So this big pity party over Scott thinking you were the Text Message Killer,

go have it somewhere else, okay?"

"Thanks for the support."

He wondered what she would do if he did walk out the door and never look back. But there was no way he would do that now. He'd tried to get by without her and all she did was consume his thoughts, his dreams and his heart even more than usual.

He couldn't imagine wanting to find a different chick to spend time with. No one woman would be who Maxie was to him. She was the match, he was the wood and together they were pure fire. If he was gonna go down in flames for anyone, he had known since the moment he saw it, it would be for her.

Still the way she tried to run his life drove him nuts.

Logan asked "So I should just let his ass off the hook for thinking I'm a serial killer? Sorry, Max, but I ain't that guy."

"Sure it sucks he thought that about you, Logan. It blows. But at least you know your dad _thought_ about you at all. That is more than I can say for Frisco. If I didn't have Mac...I would be an orphan. Because Frisco and Felicia might as well be dead for all they are to me. So you think about _that_ the next time you think about writing Scott off. He may be the worst father in the whole freaking world in your eyes but he is trying. He's here. That's more than Felicia or Frisco can pull off. Besides, the sooner you deal with him then sooner you can move back to Port Charles."

Every time she said the words move back he felt fear flutter through his brain like a lost moth. He wanted to be all she wanted. He just didn't think he was ready yet. And he didn't think he could stall much longer either. "Careful, your neediness is showing."

Her eyes cut into his. "You're a real asshole, Hayes. Just get out. You've went from saving the day to giving me a migraine in five minutes. That's a record, even for you." She stomped out of the kitchen, while throwing over her shoulder, "I don't really give a shit if you ever move back."

Letting out a long sigh, Logan jogged after Maxie, grabbed her wrist and spun her around. "Don't go being all sensitive now."

She jerked away from him. "I don't_ need _you."

But she did and they both knew it. He wanted to make it work between them, to make her happy, to make all the pain and struggle of the last year worth it in the end, but he didn't know that he could be all that to her. It was easier to keep her at a distance, even though the moment she got away from him he started to go even crazier than he was when she was around.

"I shouldn't have made that crack," he told her.

"You think you're special to me or something? You're not! You are just the last link I have to Cooper. Wake up, Hayes. I'm using you."

Slice. Like a knife carving its way along his collarbone she made her mark on him. And though he knew what she was doing and he knew why, having that knowledge didn't stop it from hurting him.

His words were lifeless when he asked "Using me _how_?"

Maxie went on "As long as you are around, its like Coop is here.And if Coop is here then I know I'm safe. I'm loved. Because he knew how to love me right. And I...I...would have kept you around just for that reason but know what? You've bored me. So get out and go to hell while you are at it!" she screamed, with tears streaming down her face. "Cause if I am strong enough to survive watching my sister get buried then I am sure as hell strong enough to get by just freaking fine without you here. Why are you still here? Just go. Go! Go! Go!"

She pushed at his chest. He grabbed both her hands in his. Then his lips crashed down on hers. For the first time ever, their kiss wasn't filled with lust or wasn't part of a tease or a game. It was soft and tender and a million different apologizes that neither could ever say any other way.

When he pulled away he asked her "Do you really think I'm going anywhere this time? No matter where I live...that don't change this...it don't change what's between you and me. We ain't never gonna be perfect or treat each other sweet all the time...but I'm not looking to go be sane but wrong with someone else. I want to be crazy...and right...with you."

Her eyes searched his and she took in short shallow breaths. She warned him, with her voice shaking, "I will ruin you in the end."

"You can't ruin me. I was ruined long before you ever met me, Max."

Her fingers grasped his shirt, her trembling hands twisted the fabric. She was a pile of contradictions, pulling him close just to push him away again. Her eyes and lips and tears saying she needed him in her life more than she needed anyone else. But her words yelling just the opposite. Still he knew that beneath all that, beneath her snarky smile, she was just trying to stay upright in a world that had knocked her off her feet too many times to count. She could have asked some other guy to be the one to hold her up, and plenty would have been glad to take the job, but she wanted him. But the moment it felt like she had him, Maxie started looking for excuses why it would never work.

If she piled up all her excuses now, she wouldn't be surprised later when they imploded again. That is what she told herself. She had to lean on him, it felt too good to be with him, too right, too safe. But she couldn't pretend this was forever.

Nothing's forever. Not in her life. Still she had _this moment _right now. She had _him_ for right now. And there was no denying that the rapid beat of her heart was all about him, no one else, and nothing else, but the way it felt to have her body pressed to his. Her lips found his, and their kiss was a duel for control. His hands buried themselves in her hair.

Logan whispered "You do _need_ me. Admit it."

He kissed her again before she could say a word. Then he whispered again. "Admit it, Max. Say you need me."

More kisses. Short and intense. Then long and filled with scorching heat. "Admit it," he repeated, while staring into her eyes.

"Don't push you luck," she said with a smile. She took a step back, with a devious twinkle in her eye. "You're lucky I let you hang around me at all."

"You're gonna admit it...just you wait and see. Cause you're crazy about me. And I'm stubborn enough to not let up till you say it aloud."

"Well, good luck with that."

He grabbed her hand and pulled her back to him, while she let out a happy laugh, and then his lips were on hers again. They tumbled onto the couch.

Later she asked "So what is this? We just make out now? Cause I certainly don't remember eating any big fancy dinner at the Metro Court today. Don't you know you have to feed a girl before you feel her up?"

"Now she gets picky. Fine. You want to go to dinner?"

"Like I would date you."

Laughing he said "Okay. Have it your way. You'll be saving me some dough." He tried to kiss her and she stopped him.

Maxie said "I won't ever date you...never...or kiss you...or anything with you." Her eyes challenged his "You know that thing you like so much that I do so well? I won't be doing that...until you _move home_."

"Texas is where I call home, darlin'," he lied. Because saying _You're my home _was just too sappy for him to let pass over his lips. Maybe some other time. Maybe when he was sunk deep inside her...but for now he couldn't bare that much of his soul to her.

"Yeah, we'll see about that," she said with a smile. Then she walked over to the door and opened it. "Enjoy your nice long drive home and your nice cold shower alone. If you need the number for a moving company, give me a call."

Logan walked out the door. "You think this is gonna work but..."

"Oh, its gonna work. Nighty night. And when you dream of me...make sure you dress me in a cute outfit. I don't wear off the rack even in fantasies."

The door closed in his face, leaving him there aching for her, and shaking his head at the way she always managed to turn his world upside down.

But he wouldn't complain. Not anymore. Because at least now he didn't have to fight anyone to be at the top of her list, and he didn't have to wonder if she'd find something better with some other guy, and he didn't have to think about what it would be like to spend the rest of his life never able to touch her again.

They might not have it all worked out. But at least they were getting closer to being on the same page.


	15. Chapter 15

**Undone in this Mad Season**

**Chapter Fifteen**

The next few days were an exercise in frustration for Logan Hayes. Maxie didn't call or text him even once, let alone stop by. It made him shaky, like an addict needing a fix, and left him always on edge with one ear half listening for her knock on the door, even when he was asleep.

To make it all worse, Lulu had tracked down his new cell phone number- thanks no doubt to her lap dog best friend- and started leaving Logan voice mail messages. If he ever caught up with Spinelli, he planned to knock him around again for hacking into his records and siccing Lulu on his ass. She wanted to apologize a million more times for nearly beating him to death with a wrench and wanted to make it all right between them again.

He would have laughed when he heard that, if he didn't know she was dead serious.

After listening to her twentieth message in four days, where she whined "_Let me buy you dinner. I feel so bad about all this," _Logan said aloud, to his empty apartment, "Not if you were the last girl on earth."

He'd go gay before ever touching her again. He might have been desperate for love and acceptance and relief from the constant barrage of thoughts about Maxie, when he first hooked up with Lulu, but he was no where near that same place now.

Even if he wasn't halfway, or maybe more than halfway- he didn't really want to go there in his mind and decide- in love with Maxie, as he had been from the word go, Logan still wouldn't go near Lulu now.

It wasn't just the fact that she could be violent, that she could lie while wearing an innocent smile, it wasn't that she had cheated on him, it wasn't even her bad attitude and tendency to rage at the exact wrong person at the exact wrong time over things that had little to nothing to do with her. Hell, all that he understood. He was like that too. It was the fact that Logan knew damn well she had never loved him, and never would. She wanted to use him, like he had used her, and if he had died in the process it was just his tough luck. Since he had lived, she expected him to go back to being someone she could milk dry of all the attention she so desperately needed.

Well, he wasn't made like that. He used and abused himself enough already. He didn't need some selfish, greedy confused little girl doing the same to him. She was as deadly as a virus. Breaking men with a casual ease that said she was just broken enough now to not really care who else ended up that way. She will certainly break every heart she gets her hands on, Logan knows now. And if he is going down in flames for anyone, it won't be Lulu Spencer.

(_It won't be the first heart that you'll break  
It won't be the last, beautiful girl._

_  
The one that you wrecked -won't take you back  
if you were the last beautiful girl_

It won't be the first heart that you break  
It won't be the last, beautiful girl.  
The one that you wrecked 

_won't take you back  
if you were the last beautiful girl in the world _) ( matchbox twenty)

The idea of Maxie moving to Rochester sounded better and better to Logan everyday. They could be free of people he hated, and that list was long- Lulu, Johnny, Spinelli, Milo, Sonny, Jason, Cody- and free of his good for nothing father and free of places that reminded them of Cooper. Coop would be with them every second of every day, and neither wanted that to change, but Logan still hated the feeling he got if he stepped in Kelly's Diner.

The sensation of his skin crawling and the walls closing in, of regrets choking his mouth, and anger boiling his blood. But he certainly couldn't let any of that show. He had to smile and snark and pretend his best friend hadn't been murdered there.

Logan doubted he could talk Maxie into moving but he decided it was worth giving it a shot. He didn't ask himself why he needed her around him so bad. He just did.

She was like a magnet for his mind, his body, his soul...something in her always pulled him right back by her side. At first he thought he could resist but resistance was futile now. She had him- lock, stock and barrel. And now he wanted to see if he could get her just as completely.

XXXXXXXXXX

Maxie couldn't believe the nerve of Logan. He still hadn't packed up his apartment and moved back to Port Charles. What in the hell was the hold up? He was supposed to have given in to her demands by now, at least that is what her mind told her. How dare he not call or text or stop by in three whole days? Could he so easily forget her?

It was driving her to distraction. She kept messing up at the boutique when she was working the cash register and her boss, the old battle ax, had started giving her dirty looks. Not like Maxie cared. This job was just temporary until something higher up in the fashion world became available.

It was five minutes before she was supposed to get off work when Logan strolled into the store. He seemed to have tried to dress up, though she would have found something much cuter for him to wear, because he didn't have on his usual jeans and a tee shirt. His hair was even gelled, into a style that was so two seasons ago, but Maxie decided to overlook it, since he was carrying a bouquet of purple and yellow wildflowers.

Or course she couldn't just smile at him and say_ I've missed you_. No she had to make him work his way back into her good graces again. "Oh, you remember where I work? Should I feel special?"

Kissing her cheek, he said "Hello to you, Maxie. I know you missed me like crazy so I thought I'd give you what you must be craving by now." Opening up his arms he said "All the Logan you can handle. Say thank you."

"Yeah, right."

"Oh, okay, well if you don't want these flowers..." he teased.

She snatched them away from him. "Shut up. I want them. If I don't take them off your hands you'll just go give them to some blonde wannabe version of me, anyway. But you'd disappoint her, in the end, and she'd surely disappoint you, too. Because she wouldn't be me." She finally gave him a smile.

"And what is it that you think I find so irresistible about you?"

"The whole package, Hayes." She did a little spin, showing off her body and outfit. "That's why you're here panting after me."

"I'm here because some guy down at the construction site bought these flowers for his girl but she dumped his ass and threw them back at him so...I didn't think they should go to waste. Since I only know you and Scott, and I'm not giving him anything ever...you hit the flower jackpot."

"Whatever. I don't buy that story for a minute."

After Maxie got off work they wandered out into the hotel lobby. She said "I'm running late so catch you later."

Logan's mouth dropped open. Maxie giggled at the site of his stunned face. She said "You think I sit around on some shelf like a cupie doll waiting for you to want to play with me? I have plans tonight."

She turned to walk out of the hotel. Loving the fact that he was surely watching her ass, and missing her already. She would have rather of spent the evening with him, over Sam and a bunch of drunks down at Jake's, but if he wanted her he would have to work for her.

Logan took a few large steps to catch up with Maxie, grabbed her wrist and stilled her movements. She turned toward him. He asked "What kind of plans? You seeing that hacker boy again?"

"He has a name. And I would appreciate if you use it. Spinelli was important to my sister so that makes him important to me now."

"That kid is a -"

Maxie crossed her arms over her chest and gave him a pointed look.

Logan practically growled the name out in frustration "Spinelli...is a...boy. You want to spend your time with a boy when you could be with a man? Is that where you've been for the last few days? With that...Spinelli?"

"Are you jealous?" She smiled so big that Logan started to relax. She knew she was driving him nuts, and was loving every minute of it.

"No. Why would I be? You're the one who stalked me all the way to Rochester cause you couldn't get by without me after I moved? Like I really think you just happened to see me that day. You probably had your new buddy Spinelli use his computer boy whiz skills to find me."

"You wish I did. Now if you don't mind, I should get going. Sam's waiting on me."

"Sam can wait. In fact, call her and cancel. I made plans for us tonight. Ones that believe me you do not want to miss out on."

She was dying to ask what he had in mind but instead played it cool. "I don't know..."

"I'll make it worth you're while, Max."

"Okay. But only cause you have no other friends."

Touching her arm, he leaned close and flirted with her "But I do got you. I _got_ you, Maxie, and you know it...and as long as I do...who needs other friends?"

He could never know how much his words, so soft and spoken in a teasing tone, meant to her. Because if there was one thing Maxie knew it was that she needed Logan in her life. She needed that one person she couldn't chase away. And she needed him to need her back just as bad.


	16. Chapter 16

**Undone in this Mad Season**

**Chapter Sixteen**

As soon as they got in the car, Logan took out a bandana and told Maxie to blind fold herself.

She scoffed. "You must be joking. If this is some kind of kinky sex thing then you can just forget it cause you're not passing GO with me until your address reads Port Charles, New York again. Because, seriously, if you can't even manage to live in the same place as me then you're obviously not that interested in me after all. If that is the case, I'll just have to find someone more local and available to be my man and you'll be crying in your beer, I guarantee it, the day that happens-"

Before Maxie could ramble on anymore, Logan brought his lips to hers, stifling the rest of her sentence. Her arms wound around his neck, as her mouth opened for him. She was pushed back against the door as he pressed closer and closer to her. He would have liked nothing better than to just take her right there. To hell with talking, negotiating, and romance. He wanted her- in his life and his bed, and she wanted him. But, unlike Logan, Maxie had terms. Ones he knew he would have to meet sooner or later. It would be a sign of good faith...him taking a risk for her- risking being in this crazy town where around every corner was a headache or heartache for him. He didn't like the idea of moving back to Port Charles but he _hated _the idea of being drop kicked out of Maxie's life.

Something would have to give. And Logan was sure, in the end, it would be him. But for tonight he wanted to just show Maxie that, even if he didn't jump at the chance to live in this town again, he did want to make her happy...seeing her smile was the one thing that made him think life had any upside at all. If he lost the chance to see that smile, he would sink into a black hole once more. It was a place he was used to ending up.

But this time it would be worse. He would have gotten within a hair of calling Maxie his own, something he certainly couldn't do last year, and then lost it all anyway. Logan would do just about anything on earth he had to in order for that not to be his fate. For the first time ever he was close to having a good life, not just a faked version of it he was so used to, and it all revolved around the feisty, crazy blonde that he was dying to make love to, instead of just kiss in the front seat of his cramped car.

He slowly ended their kiss, but didn't slide away from her. Breathlessly, Maxie said, as her fingers played with the button on his shirt, "Didn't I tell you no more making out till I get what I want?"

"I just gave you what you want," Logan said with a grin. "And you only want more." He handed her the bandana. "Now put this on and let me surprise you. Why do you have to make everything so complicated?"

He helped her put the bandana in place and tied it. "There you go."

"Wherever we're going better not be too far away because my hair will be ruined."

"I promise not to laugh if it is."

"Liar. You would so laugh."

"But not too hard," he joked back.

He started the car and pulled out of the parking space in the garage of The Metro Court.

After driving for a few minutes, Maxie softly said Logan's name.

He loved the way it sounded on his lips- her tone as multifaceted as her mind, with hints of tenderness and insecurity and lust. "Hmm?"

She admitted "I didn't ask Spinelli to track you down when you left town."

Just ten minutes ago he had accused her of doing just that when Logan had said

_You're the one who stalked me all the way to Rochester cause you couldn't get by without me after I moved? Like I really think you just happened to see me that day. You probably had your new buddy Spinelli use his computer boy whiz skills to find me._

Maxie went on "I was just so damn pissed off that you did that...I told myself I never wanted to see you again...but when the anger wore off...I knew that was a lie. I thought you were gone for good...in Texas...brawling in some bar and not even remembering my name."

"Believe me, Max, you're the type of woman that always leaves a scar. I'd remember you everyday of my life even if it was the last thing I wanted to do."

If Maxie heard a different man say those same exact words, she might have been offended but from Logan she knows its an admission that he does care about her, more then he even wants to.

"I should have asked Spinelli to find you...if you ever think of leaving me again...I'll have him do his cyber thing and track your ass down."

Logan smiled. "Well, that's sweet, Max."

She added, "If only to ruin your credit for being an ass and leaving."

"Should have known there'd be a catch," he grumbled. He couldn't be mad at her threat, though he knew she was dead serious, because at least she wanted him to stick around. And after the last insane year of longing for each other, torturing and tormenting each other, lies, tears and loss...that Maxie would still want Logan in her life enough to fight for him, it blew his mind. If not for her, he would have been sure he was the most unlucky guy in the state. But as long as Maxie wanted him, Logan couldn't think of himself that way.

She made him hopeful. Not that he could be a different, better man (like every other woman who had ever dated him had wanted him to become). That he could be himself and that would be good enough. All he had to do was stick around, she didn't ask for anything more.

But Logan wanted to give her more. He wanted to put a smile on her face like she put one on his.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

With the blindfold over her eyes, all Maxie's other senses were heightened. Logan opened her car door and took her hand in his. As she stood up, their bodies came within an inch of each other, and Maxie breathed in the musky scent of him. Her body reacted faster than her mind could he think, He smells so good, sending her heart racing and blood flying fast with adrenaline.

Logan led her slowly toward the building, his touch warm like a candle licking her skin sending shivers dancing over every place he touched. She could hear the door click softly shut and then he moved behind her. Her hands went to undo the blindfold but he grasped them before they could, moving them away.

"I'm dying to know where we are," she whined in a pouty voice filled with frustration.

"Hold on a second."

She heard him move away from her and around the room. Maxie went to take the blindfold off again, unable to stand the suspense, but stopped when she heard Logan say "Wait for it."

Soon he was standing behind her again. His hand lightly moved over her back. She bit her lip. Logan said "Since we keep arguing about just where _we_ should live...I thought one night in a neutral zone would do us both some good."

Slowly he slid off her blindfold to reveal they were in a cabin. Candles were on every surface, flickering in the otherwise black room.

"Keep this up," Maxie joked softly, to break the tension because she didn't want to feel too much too fast "and I'll think you've gone soft."

Standing behind her, so close that his body brushed against hers, Logan whispered into her ear "Would that be so bad? Don't act like you don't love being the center of my attention."

"You think I love it a lot more than I actually do."

"Now who's lying?" he teased in his deep southern drawl. His breath on her ear caused a chain reaction of her sucking in a short breath, then a slight shudder slid down her spine causing what felt like a million butterflies to explode through her mid-section.

_Oh, yeah_, she thought, _this was why I went half out of my mind over him last year. Who wouldn't go to extremes to chase this feeling down_?

Logan moved in front of Maxie. "You like?"

She giggled, the sound light and carefree. It was the first time she truly felt unburdened since the day her sister died. Even around Sam and Spinelli, she still felt the ghosts of Georgie and Cooper, right there in the room with her for every moment. When she laughed or joked or smiled, she had felt like she shouldn't feel too good; she needed to temper her joy because that was the only way to honor them. But in this second with Logan, when they had both come so far from who they were, from the two people that could barely hold themselves together, to two people that held each other together, she couldn't think of what could have been. She could only think of what was.

Logan had went out of his way for her. She meant something to him. Just knowing that, kept her soft giggles going for a long minute, a minute of complete freedom from all she used to be afraid she could never be.


	17. Chapter 17

**Undone in this Mad Season**

**Chapter Seventeen**

The cabin Logan took Maxie to was owned by a friend who worked with him at the construction site in Rochester. When the guy mentioned he had to cancel his own weekend there because one of his kids got sick , Logan had the idea that it would be the perfect place hang out with Maxie. When they were at his apartment, all she could talk about was him moving.And when they were at her house, he worried that Mac might walk in on them at any moment. His friend at work had been happy to toss him the keys and let him use this place for the weekend.

Logan cooked dinner for them while Maxie sat perched on the counter watching him. He had found a CD system, so all during dinner John Mayer was playing softly in the background. After they ate, Maxie told Logan "Build me a fire."

"Could you say please, do you think?"

"No," she said with a grin.

They went out the french doors, onto the deck and looked around until they found an ax and pile of some firewood. Maxie said "You should cut some more logs."

"Yes, ma'am. I'll get right on that. Damn, you sure do like to boss me."

"And the sooner you get use to it, the easier this will all go."

Logan peeled off this shirt and started to chop some smaller logs out of the bigger ones that were around the wood pile. Maxie swallowed hard as she watched his muscles stretch and bulge with every swing of the ax.

When they went inside she laid a blanket in front of the fireplace, and tossed some throw pillows off the couch onto it. Logan started the fire and then sat down behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. The room was dark, save the firelight and candles. For them, it was the first truly quiet moment they shared in each other's arms. Usually they were moving at a million miles an hour, all their kisses fast and intense, as if they were afraid to slow down and think. He didn't hold her just because he wanted to or just because she needed him to...not last year...not when she had to bury her sister...not when Cooper was murdered...but they were past those crazy days of the past. Now it felt natural to rest in Logan's arms.

After a few minutes she said "Tell me you don't regret it."

"I regret almost everything. You'll have to be more specific. What _it _are you talking about this time?"

"Not going back to Texas."

"Oh, that. No...no, Maxie, I don't regret that one bit."

She turned her head so that their eyes could meet. "Good. I don't know about you, but I've had enough of wishing I would have done everything different. I've felt like that as long as I can remember. Every good thing I ever hold in my hands...I crush. Every time I try to fix my life...I break it worse. But right now...it doesn't feel broken at all."

XXXXXXXXX

He used to think all he could ever do was break her. And he didn't really give a damn if he did.

She has been there, looking like every sin he had ever wanted to drown in, and saying she would never be his...never...because he wasn't worthy of her, and then tempting him to fall for her anyway. To throw away years of friendship and his chances with the girl he swore he wanted more than her...to throw it all away for just one night inside of her. Logan never thought, back then, he'd get so hooked on Maxie. But he had.

And every second he was grabbing her arm and yanking her close, yelling in her face, cussing her out and cursing her name, he was fighting against all he felt for her. Until the moment Cooper died, and the world stopped. In the wake of that, he just couldn't fight anything anymore. He had no strength left to try. He just wanted to be gone...to be far away from everyone it hurt to look at- Scott and Lulu and even Spinelli, with their judgements of how Logan fell so short of who they had expected him to be. But every mile that bus took him away from Port Charles, Logan only ached worse, not less, till he was standing on the side of the road in Rochester, knowing he couldn't go a mile further away from the only person in Port Charles he couldn't leave behind.

Still, even then, Logan didn't think he was good for Maxie. He didn't think he could offer her all she needed. But now, as he held her, he realized he had been wrong. Somehow he had patched her back together, and God knows, she did the same for him. Without her, he'd be in Texas filled to the brim with rage- taking it out on himself and the world. Destroying himself and everything he touched, like he was good at.

For the first time in a very long time, since he used his hands to save lives during the war, Logan could see he was also good at healing. At least when it came to Maxie, and that was all he really cared about.

The rest of this insane world could fend for themselves. All that mattered to him was how this woman in his arms right now felt. Because whatever Maxie felt, Logan felt amplified. They fed off each other...her pain causing his gut to clench...his fears making her hands shake...and now her serene smile sending a peaceful feeling coursing through his veins. Before all they could be was too much together: too miserable, too loud, too lustful, too wild, too prideful, too lost, too terrified to give in or hang on or question why it meant so much. But now, as if they were a coin that was flipped over, they were the same people, with the same faults and same tendencies to wreck themselves, but together they weren't too much. Together they were just enough to finally feel right...instead of every shade of wrong known to man.

Logan intertwined their fingers. This is what he really wanted most in the world, it wasn't complicated anymore, all he really wanted at his core was this: her hand in his. So what was there to wait for? He told her "You win."

Her smile spread from ear to ear. "Are you serious? You're not just saying that so you can get some, are you?"

"You win, Max. I give up. I'll move back to Port Charles." He'd move to the moon if he could keep feeling as good as he did right now.

She gave a little yelp of joy and twisted around in his arms, to fully face him. "You won't be sorry, I swear."

Logan didn't know if that was true or not. They were both capable of being just as cruel as they were kind but he did know he was too tempted by her to walk away right now.

She said "I know it probably seems so selfish of me to say that you living an hour away is too far and you have to change your job and your place and your life for me but...it is too far! I don't know why...but I need you. Everyone else tries to get me to talk about how I feel and what I lost and they think that will make me feel better...but I can't put all that into words. Everyone else wants those words...so they know how to treat me and where my head is act...so they can be careful around the fragile woman whose walking on the edge. But you, Logan, you never needed the words for you to know...even before the world turned upside down and Georgie and Cooper were taken right out of it...even before...you understood me. And I just need the only person who really knows me...I need you close by. So if that makes me a selfish bitch, for wanting you to put up with Scott hassling you just for me, then I'm a selfish bitch but...I think it'll all be better...easier to get through this life...if you stay close to me and I stay close to you."

"I'm not gonna go anywhere, Maxie, not anywhere you're not. You're right where I want to be."

Cupping his face with her hands, Maxie gave him a slow and soulful kiss. Forcing him backwards till he was laying down, she rested her body on top of his and said, with a smile, "I'm glad I didn't go through with killing you."

"Good to hear."

"Cause of all the things I ever didn't want to miss in my life...all those moments that I lost...that I craved but were always outside of my reach...this is one I would have hated to miss out on."

Maxie caressed the stubble on his cheeks, while Logan ran his hands down her back, till one rested gently on her hip and the other came up and buried itself in her hair. He pulled her into a long kiss. Like the first flame in a wildfire, their hunger exploded. What started languid went to full throttle in an instant. She moaned and his whole body went hard. Logan reached around and unzipped her dress, sliding it off her shoulders, he kissed her neck then rolled her over onto her back.

Looking down at Maxie, with his body pressed against the side of hers and their legs tangled together, he said "I wanted you even when I hated you...but I want you more now." His hand brushed over her chest, causing her exhale a sultry sigh, before it rested on her stomach. " Right now...it all feels right. More right than I used to think we could ever get. But tomorrow? All I've ever done is rip to shreds every relationship I ever had...as I swear on my life that I'm not doing it on purpose...but I am. Every time I am."

She nodded, her eyes locked on his.

Maxie knew just went he meant, for she did the exact same thing time after time. But she wouldn't let that stop her from trying again this time with him. She needed to try...she needed to know the ending could work out different for once. That she wouldn't end up in a million little pieces this time- shattered by her own careless hand once more. It didn't even scare her to take this risk. It would only scare her to walk away...to lose her chance to feel alive when Logan kissed her, to feel chosen, to feel like she had his heart in the palm of her hand and that he trusted her not to crush it another time.

Sitting up, Maxie shimmied out of her dress. Logan's eyes darkened with desire but he didn't move any closer to kissing her again. She said "Worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. You talk a good game about not knowing if we should or shouldn't...but you aren't about to turn me down. There's no way."

Logan leaned close to her, running both his hands into her hair, until his lips were a mere fraction of a millimeter from hers. "I don't know if we are walking straight into heaven or hell..."

"Only one way to find out," Maxie said, before her lips found his.

Who knows where they might go from here?

They were both best at losing what they loved, never holding on tight enough before now. But maybe their luck had changed. Whatever might come next, they would be riding this roller coaster together. Because the highs never felt quiet as good as when they were high in each others arms, naked and screaming for it to never stop. And the lows...the lows had threatened to sink them but Maxie hoped...maybe, if she could hold Logan's hand when the world went crazy, instead of pushing him away, then maybe the lows wouldn't last quite as long or be quite as painful.

He had almost died. She had almost been the one to kill him. Now he was the one she was living for...living to drag closer and closer and closer, till he was all the way inside of her, till she could claim him as hers to the whole damn world and Maxie Jones could know for sure that Logan Hayes was not gonna get away from her again.

**THE END**

_Thanks so much for reading this! It was my first attempt at writing a full length Lomax story. It wasn't as easy as I hoped it would be. But I did enjoy it and this couple still really intrigues me._

_If they are one of your favorite couples I hope you feel this fic captured them._ _Thank you for taking the time to indulge me in my writing of what I would have liked to have seen happen with them after Logan woke up from his coma. _

Sara


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